Hopeless would have been a better term to describe myself. I am not going to go into all the dark details of my life but I will say it has had some dark and even scary times. For any of you who have had a painful past you I am sure understand my meaning here. I lived without hope for most of my life, and for the most part I didn’t even believe in myself. I got to the point that I even wondered how terrible a person I must be to have so much pain in my life. I degraded myself and had no self-esteem. I cannot number the times I thought of death but I did try to take my own life and thank God I failed. I have faced some very serious trials in the past few years and dealt with a great deal of loss and admit I had wanted to give up many times. Yet here I am! I get up everyday and some days are good and some days are not, but I am alive. The pain I feel may not be pleasant but at least I can still feel. How can I find anything positive in any part of my life? My hope comes from the Lord. The things I have lived through even though there was much pain it can be used to do good. For one I can see things in ways that someone who did not understand true pain would. This helps me to be able to love someone I see hurting. This kind of love is a choice. It is not based on the other person pleasing me and doing everything I like but seeing the other person both the good and bad and loving them as they are, Understanding that when people are hurting they do not just hurt others they more often hurt themselves the most. I learned this by learning of the love of Jesus and His sacrifice. He didn’t wait for you and me to get perfect before He died for us. He knew what we would do and still loved us. When I read of His life on earth I see how badly He was treated. He was mocked, rejected, abandoned by His friends, beaten, and crucified, and He did all this because He loved you and me. This is my hope, and this is what gives me the strength to face the day even when I don’t want to. My Heavenly Father loves me even if no one else does and this love is what I truly need. He took me from being hopeless and has given me a hope no other ever could, He has the same love for you as well. Find your hope in Him.
- emotional struggles
- finding hope
- Jesus loves me
Julie Sheppard aka Reiko Chinen I am a woman who has faced many storms in this life, and have had my ups and downs, but the One who has gotten me this far is Jesus. He loves me so much He died for me, and everything he suffered for my sake makes my pain and suffering seem so much smaller. Now I just want to share with others all He has done for me, and hope I encourage at least one person with what I share.