Continuing to make changes in me (Words)

Proverbs 18:21 ESV Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.
A few years back I had come to realize that my speech was ugly and hateful. I had so much anger and resentment over the abuse and wrong doings that had happened to me, I was allowing it to control my behavior. I always felt the need to protect myself and the slightest wrong would allow me to justify to myself, giving me a reason to retaliate. I did not have the physical ability to do harm but the words that came out of my mouth were as damaging as any physical damage a person could do. I had no intention of forgiving those who had hurt me. Then one day I heard the words spewing out of my mouth like lava from a volcano and realized that it did not matter how long ago I asked Jesus into my life, I had not learned to forgive as I had been forgiven. If I did not learn how to forgive all the hatred and bitterness of forgiveness would destroy me and anyone I cared about. I learned that forgiveness was not an emotion that I needed to feel, but an action I had to take, so that I might find peace. I started keeping a journal and decided that I had to change how I spoke. Going to church alone was not going to make the necessary changes I needed to make. So every day I had to make the decision to speak words of life, encouragement, healing, praise and thanksgiving. This was not an easy task, and I failed many times, but I wrote down my failures keeping myself accountable. When I blew it and let anger or any other negative emotion raise it’s ugly head and spoke harsh and hateful words, I confessed to Jesus, repenting and giving Him thanks for His grace. I also knew that I could not do this on my own, so I searched His Word and submitted myself to His will. I knew the days of demanding my own way had to come to an end. I am no where near perfect but I am thankful that He is transforming me into a woman that is pleasing to Him, and that it is His Word that gives me the direction that I need,
A few of the scriptures I have focused on are
Proverbs 18:21, Proverbs 15:4, Psalm 141:3, Psalm 34:13
1Peter 3:10, the book of James, but some specific verses are 1:26,
and 3:2-10. Search the scriptures for yourself, because there are so many more than these few. God can change you if you allow Him to.

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4 thoughts on “Continuing to make changes in me (Words)

  1. I know that hyper vigilant response very well. Lock-n-load and batten down the hatches. It still catches me in a spin sometimes. I act on it differently than I used to but it’s not a good way to feel. I think the process of recovery is going to last my entire earthly life. My issue now is a deeper trust. My trust was shattered when I was very small and I know if I can reconstruct that in Christ the threats in this world won’t be able to send me into a tail spin the way they sometimes, still do. There are things to be angry at because a lot of them make God angry too but I think the best way to ‘be angry and sin not’ is in putting it in his hands. I became a warrior to survive what I’ve survived but what I want is a gentle and quiet spirit.

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  2. Pam you are more than a survivor, you are a conqueror. From the day you gave your life over to Jesus changes began in you. I do not know about the detail of what hurt you as a child, but I am grateful to God that Jesus is healing you of the damages done and that your testimony is a weapon the enemy cannot steal from you. Thank you so much for your comment, and for your encouragement. God bless you.

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