(This is a rough draft and will be in parts)
How many of you have experienced the sting of betrayal that was caused by someone cheating on you? You were dating or married, and they had an affair. Even if the affair was not sexual it was intimate, taking the affection they once had for you and giving it to another. Jesus told us if we even look at another who is not our wife or husband with lust in our eye we have already committed the sin of ADULTERY. It not only breaks your heart but it can devastate your life. It breaks up families and causes a chain reaction of divisions. Divorce doesn’t just hurt you, but your children, family, church, and friends are hurt too.
You did not accidentally have an affair. You chose to act on a selfish desire and did not care about those who would be hurt by your actions. You may not ever plan on leaving your wife/husband, and believe your affair is secret and that your spouse will never find out. They may even be pretending nothing is happening because the pain is too much for them to bare and they do not want to loose you. Denial and pretending is only deceiving one’s self, and the wound only deepens. I still remember the day when I opened my front door and saw my husband kissing another woman. I didn’t run up to the car and bang on the window. I quietly shut the door and lied to myself and said I did not see that. I was mistaken and that he must have been reaching into the backseat for something. Our marriage was already bad from the abuse but confirmation that he was having an affair was too much for me to handle. This woman had even wanted to throw me a baby shower. Oh, did I forget to mention I was pregnant? This was a woman who knew of my existence and our marriage did not stop their affair, both were willing parties to their illicit relationship. So not only was I being beaten, I was being cheated on. Now this was not the only time someone had cheated on me, I have had other relationships where not only my heart was broken but so was my trust.
Adultery is found in the Bible a number of times.
Short list
COMMANDMENT: Do not commit adultery.
David and Bathsheba had an affair that lead to the murder of her husband and their baby died.
Hosea, a prophet commanded by God to marry Gomer, who was a prostitute. Time after time Hosea had to go after Gomer who constantly was unfaithful.
Mary the mother of Jesus was thought that she had an affair and Joseph was going to send her off quietly(We all know she did not and Joseph learned the truth as well)
John the Baptist was beheaded because he spoke out against the adultery of the king with his brothers wife and at the request of her daughter at her mothers’ instruction. Mark 6:14-29
Even Abraham had almost caused his wife to commit the sin of adultery out of fear for his own life twice.Thankfully God intervened and spoke to the king and kept this from happening.
I have been discussing adultery between a man and his wife. Both men and women have been guilty since before the time of Moses. There is another kind of adultery most never think about. Spiritual adultery. When we are unfaithful to God. We have not one but two commandments that tell us God is the only One. First commandment no other gods. Second no idols. He needs to be first in all areas of our lives. These man made gods and idols do not love us. They only take from us. We might find momentary pleasure from them but it never truly satisfies. They take away our love and attention to the One who has given us everything to seek after things that do not last. We are called an unfaithful people, and we are. We seek after our own selfish desires and we break His heart. The One who loves us so much that Jesus died for our sins.
You may go to church and know your scripture but if you are still seeking after your own selfish desires you may know His Name but you are not living for Him. You might as well spit in His face. He is not looking for you to be perfect, but He does love you perfectly. Forgiveness and grace do not give us license to continue to live sinful lives.
Please remember this is not a completed work, but I guess you can say there is no relationship that does not need work
emotionalpeace 
Good spiritual post. But I must say wow sister that is so painful for me to read of your story. What stood out to me is the hurt of the one who was wronged, who would pretend they didn’t see it or didn’t want to confront the person…and the cheating by two people you trusted! While you were pregnant! I just prayed for you to have peace from the presence of God if you haven’t already experienced already, yet I know it can be not easy and something one have to rely on His grace and strength regularly. God bless you Julie.
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Thank you Jim for your prayers and your comments. It has been years since my ex-husband’s affairs and God has healed me from what he had done to me. I am thankful for the perspective it has given to me and that it taught me that there is more than one type of adultery. When we give our affections to the world instead of God, I now have a very small taste of how God feels when He is cheated on. We are His Bride and He is to be our first love. It was a painful way to learn how deep His love is and how we can hurt Him. I just pray that this small piece of my testimony will help another and hopefully more than one.
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I hope it helps pothers too. For me it was a very vivid picture of how hurtful adultery is; its one thing to know it intellectually but your description has my hair of my arms standing. May we be faithful to God and therefore be faithful in every sphere of life, thanks Julie!
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Wow, Julie. That was painful to read, but I know your story well too. Gratefully, the joy does come in the morning. Thank you for sharing, and the reminder of how we all must guard our hearts lest we too leave our first love.
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Thank you Barbara,I appreciate you reading and for your encouraging words. God bless you
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