Tag: just for fun

Is it only in my mind? Short story

Trying my hand at some fictional work.

   Hi there. I know you do not know me, but I wonder if you could take a moment and answer a few questions. Why? Well, depending on your answers I would like to take you to a place not many have seen.
Yes. Please have a seat. It is a beautiful day and I enjoy sitting outdoors where there is so much to see.
I appreciate you giving me some of your time, so I will get to the questions I have.

Do you see things as only black or white?
Does everything have to be in perfect order to make you happy?
Do you have to stick to a specific schedule?
If something happens that interrupts your routine, what do you do?
Do you like going on adventures?
Do you color in the lines?
How creative are you?
Do you ever do things at the spur of the moment?
What is your favorite color?
Have you ever taken a road trip for fun?
I know these questions are random, but they have you thinking. Now that you have kindly answered these questions it is time for me to tell you about that place. No it is not in some far off country that you can find on a map. It is also not on another planet. It is a place where the landscape changes in a blink of an eye. Where one moment it is day and in the next it is night. The sky can be your favorite color, and trees can grow out of the sea, or float in the air. You say this place cannot exist, but I say that it does. You say it is only in my mind. You doubt me and think that I am crazy, that is okay. I am sure you heard of a man named John, who went to a place that was not on this earth or in space. Do you recall what he wrote about where he went?
I am glad that you are still here. You are curious to know if this place can really exist. Are you ready to see this place for yourself? Close your eyes. Tell me now what do you see? Nothing but darkness? Reach out there is a door right in front of you. Open it. Can you see now?
How did I find this place? As a child I spent a lot of time reading books. I loved them. They were my escape. They took me places I had never been to. The words came to life and I found myself in new and wonderful places(Like the place John wrote about). Sometimes I would become afraid and I would run and hide. I would be so filled with fear but in those places I learned to face my fears. I could be as big as a giant and step on what had frightened me. I learned to fight and be courageous. I could choose my role. I could even be the bad guy if I wanted to be, but that was a character I chose to fight and not give into. I could walk through fire and not get burned. I swam in stormy waters and did not drown or run out of breath.
Books opened the door to this place. They opened my mind to see beyond what was in front of me. I learned to see what others could not. Now I do not even have to close my eyes, and I can be anywhere I allow my mind to take me. I am no longer limited by the physical world around me. For not only is my battle one that is not of flesh and blood, but the wonders and beauty of life are not limited by the physical things around me.
You can now journey to this wondrous place that has no limits. Are there monsters that you need to destroy? Are there places that bring you peace and joy? Is there an adventure you have been wanting to take? Do you want to go to a place that you can only imagine?  Then join me, or take a journey that is all your own.
If you would like, I could share with you some of my experiences in this place, if that would help you decide. You have somewhere you have to be right now, but still want to hear more. I would be happy to meet with you again. You can find me here most days. I enjoy this bench, because I can see so much of this beautiful park.  If the weather is rainy, you can find  me at that cafe across the street.  I am looking forward to sharing more with you.

Until next time.

Laughter is good medicine – IRS

I.R.S. A pastor of a church is sitting in his study when the phone rings. “Hello, is this Reverend Jones?” the caller asks. “It is.” replied the pastor. “This is Bill Johnson with the Internal Revenue Service. I was wondering if you could answer a few questions?”

“I’ll try.” said the pastor. “Do you know a John Timmons?” “I do.” “Is he a member of your congregation?” “He is.” “Did he donate $10,000 to the church?” “He will.”

Laughter is good medicine – Now that is anger

A little girl who was writing a school paper asked her father, “Dad, what is the difference between anger and exasperation?” “It’s mostly a matter of degree.” the dad replied. ” Let me show you what I mean”. With that the dad picked up the phone and dialed a number at random. A man answered the phone and the dad says, “Hello, is Homer there?” The man on the other end answered, “I’m sorry, you must have the wrong number. There’s nobody here by that name.” The father hangs up and immediately hits redial, “Hello, is Homer there?” asks the father. “Now listen up buddy, there’s nobody here by that name so quit bothering me!” The dad listens as the man slams the phone down. You see, says the dad, he is starting to get angry. He hits redial and a loud voice comes on the line. “HELLO!” the man yells. “Yes, is Homer there? asks the father calmly. “Are you crazy?” the man screams, ” I told you Homer doesn’t live here so don’t call back again!” then he slams the phone down again. “Did you hear that?” the father asked the little girl, “Now that is what anger sounds like.” “Now you’re going to hear exasperation.” He picked the phone up and hit redial again. “HELLO!” boomed the voice on the other end. “Hello” the dad says politely, “This is Homer, have I had any calls?”

Laughter is good medicine – New Pastor

A new pastor moved into a town, and he went out one day to visit his parishioners. All went well until he came upon this one house. It was obvious that someone was home, but no one came to the door even after he had knocked several times. Finally he took out his card, wrote on the back “Revelation 3:20” and stuck it on the back of the door. Revelation 3:20: “Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”

Later in the week, as he was counting the offering, he found his card in the collection plate. Below his message was the notation “Genesis 3:10.”

Genesis 3:10: “And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked: so I hid myself.”

Laughter is good medicine – Last Respects.

This one really cracked me up.

At a motivational seminar 3 men are asked to come up to the stage. They are all asked, “When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, “I would like to hear them say that I was the great doctor of my time, and a great family man.” The second guy says, “I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow.” The last guy replies, “I would like to hear them say…… LOOK!!! HE’S MOVING!!!!!”

Laughter is good medicine – Happy Birthday!

A lady goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. “So, miss, can you tell us your age, please?”

The lady counts carefully on her fingers for about 30 seconds before replying “Ehhhh .. 22!”.

The interviewer looks at her a little puzzled and then tries another straightforward one to break the ice. “And can you tell us your height, please?”.

The young lady stands up and produces a measuring tape from her handbag. She then traps one end under her foot and extends the tape to the top of her head. She checks the measurement and announces “Five foot two!”

This isn’t looking good so the interviewer goes for the real basics. “And ehh, just to confirm for our records, your name please?”

The lady bobs her head from side to side for about twenty seconds, mouthing something silently to herself, before replying “Mandy!”.

The interviewer is completely baffled at this stage, so he asks, “Just out of curiosity, miss. We can understand your counting on your fingers to work out your age, and the measuring tape for your height is obvious, but what were you doing when we asked you your name?”

“Ohh that!”, she replies, “That’s just me running through, ‘Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you….’ .”

Laughter is good medicine / The Wreck

A lady had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. “My Goodness!” the trooper gasped. “Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma’am?” “Why, yes, officer, I’m just fine” the lady chirped. “Well, how in the world did this happen?” the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car. “Officer, it was the strangest thing!” the lady began. “I was driving along this road when I started to doze off. When I woke up this TREE from out of nowhere pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was….” “Uh, ma’am, ‘the officer said, cutting her off, “There isn’t a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth on your rear view mirror.”

http://www.thehaha.club/jokes/the-wreck