Do You Listen? / June 18, 2019

(In this post I have included the original post, but as I read it again I heard God speak to me and tell me that it was unfinished. So The bold print is from the original.)
When your children do not listen to you and disobey you do you get upset? Of course you do. I do not know of any parents that does not care when their child does something wrong. As a parent you have rules you expect your children to follow those rules. There are the things you want them to do, and the things you do not want them to do. When they break your rules you discipline them. So why is it that when God tells us to do something or not do something we like to argue with Him, or we go ahead and do the thing He has told us not to do? He is our Heavenly Father, and we are His children. As we want our children to listen to us we need to listen to God our Father and not argue with Him and do what we know pleases Him. We are not to talk back or tell Him what to do. We do not tolerate this with our own children, so why is it that we think we can do this with God? 

Growing up, talking back to any adult was not allowed, and you definitely did not talk back to my father, unless you wanted a beating. Yet are there times when we do this with God, our Heavenly Father? Do we make demands and tell Him what to do? I think we have become spoiled children at times. We have used prayer as a one-way street, with a list of demands and wants. A combination of a shopping list and a to do list.

When Jesus was asked by His disciples how to pray, He had included, ‘Thy will be done’ in His example of how to pray, and what we today call the ‘Lord’s prayer’ (Matthew 3:9-13). Later while praying in Gethsemane, He again said in prayer, ‘Not my will but Thine be done’. In both instances, Jesus the Son of God does not make demands but prayed for the will of God to be done.

It is not our own will that we should be seeking but His. How can we know His will? Let us not only hear what He tells us, but listen. Remember that prayer is communicating with God. He is not your personal genie granting you what ever you wish, He is our Heavenly Father. He wants to hear from you, but He also wants for you to listen to what He has to say. He is not your ATM machine where you put your membership card in so you can take something out. Stop for a moment and give Him your time and attention. Listen to His voice.

1 John 5:14 This is the confidence which we have before Him, that, if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us.
John 10:27-28 ESV My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me. I give them eternal life, and they will never perish, and no one will snatch them out of my hand.
Mark 4:24 ESV And he said to them, “Pay attention to what you hear: with the measure you use, it will be measured to you, and still more will be added to you.

Proverbs 1:8-9 ESV Hear, my son, your father’s instruction, and forsake not your mother’s teaching, (9) for they are a graceful garland for your head and pendants for your neck.

Proverbs 7:1-3 ESV My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; (2) keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; (3) bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart.

Pain Part 7 / A Prayer

This I Pray

Rom 8:18 NKJV  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

A prayer
Father,
forgive me for complaining about my pain more than I praise you and for any time I blamed you for my suffering. I am sorry. Help me to praise you even when it hurts, to share Your love with others who hurt and are suffering. Use my imperfections to show the world Your perfect love. What the world designed for my destruction use to be glorified in me. For I understand that it is not You that hurt me or caused  my infirmities. I live in a fallen world and we have all been given free will to choose do right or wrong. I know when I have been hit and abused physically, sexually, and emotionally You were with me suffering with me. You know my every wound and pain because You bore my pain when You were beaten Jesus. They mocked You, spit on You, beat You, rejected You and crucified You, and still in that moment You did not defend Yourself but submitted Your body to their punishment because You love me. On the cross You said to Your Father, ‘Forgive them, they know not what they do.’ You forgave my sins and paid my debt when I did not deserve this from You. You love me truly and You cry with me when I cry and hurt when I hurt. This pain I feel may feel like I have suffered a lifetime but a time will come when I will know that it was just a small part of my life. Yes I have been hurt and I am weak but Your love fills me and gives me hope that better days are coming. Thank You so much for loving me as I am and for taking all the mess of my life and turning it into just one of Your masterpieces.
In Jesus name, Amen
Your imperfect Child

Right Relations/ When should you let go? / June 12, 2019

The term ‘Toxic Relationship” can be applied to a number of relationships we may have. What makes the relationship toxic? Well there can be a number of reason to label a relationship toxic. The word ‘Toxic’ implies that it is poisonous, harmful and even deadly. A relationship is obviously toxic when you can see the outward signs of abuse. Bruises, black eyes, and broken bones, are signs you can see. What about the unseen? The emotional and mental damaged being done that the eyes do not always detect. What ever  the excuse or reason that we may have to stay in these relationships, there comes a time when we need to realize that we are doing more harm than good to ourselves and to the other person. We may have the need to stay to help them, but how can you save someone from drowning when you are drowning yourself?

We need to remove ourselves from harmful relationships. This does not mean you do not care or that you have to hate them to leave. Sometimes the saying, ‘If you love someone, you set them free’, is very exactly what we need to do. Staying in a harmful relationship does neither of you any good. You could be standing in the way of God reaching that person, or they may be standing in the way of God in your life. Proverbs tells us that it is better for a man to be on top of the roof with a dry morsel of bread than in a house with a quarrelsome wife. If you are a woman or a man this is telling you to distance yourself from the one who is trying to do you harm. This could be physical, emotional or verbal, no matter what it is that is causing you harm, the only way to stop it,is to remove yourself from the picture. You would not put your hand in the fire and keep it there. If you did, more than your hand would catch on fire.

Some relationships will be restored and others will come to an end. either way you will grieve the loss, whether it is temporary or permanent. It will hurt more than ripping off a band-aide, but it is a pain you will heal. Healing is the goal in letting go of a harmful relationship. It takes courage to walk away, especially when you love the other person, and they may actually love you but sometimes the only way for the both of you to find healing is to let go.

(A personal thought – bleach is a cleaner and ammonia is another cleaning product, but you don’t put the two together. Why? If combined they produces a toxic gas that will kill you.)

Right Relations / thoughts on Abandoned and Rejected/ 5/19/2019

When I was 5 years old, my parents divorced. My father got custody of me and my brother. I grew up thinking that my mother had left me behind. It was an abusive marriage, and I was left with her abuser to be abused myself. I felt abandoned. I was lied to for most of my life about my mother and how my father got custody. I was made to believe that she left me by her own choice. That she was selfish and only cared about partying and sex. She was in my life, and I saw her often but I still felt abandoned. As I got older and started living a very self destructive life. I loved and hated her. I loved her because she was my mother. I hated her because I thought she had abandoned me to be raised by her abuser. It was not until the year before she died that I learned the truth. She had not abandoned me, but had to make a choice that no mother should ever had to make. I have shared my testimony on my arrest and trials, so I will not go into all those details. Yet that was what it took for her to share what had been done to her. It was one of the most painful conversations that I have had. Yet it brought us both healing, and understanding. I learned that she had not abandoned me, but had done what she had to, so that she could be in my life, even though she knew what kind of man my father was.

I have had a problem with relationships, for many reasons. Growing up thinking that I had been abandoned, had also caused me to feel rejected. I still struggle with feeling unwanted. I don’t feel like I fit in. So how can I feel close to an unseen God?  My Heavenly Father. Being lied to and feeling abandoned and rejected, how can I trust Him?

First I have to realize that He is not a man. He is God. In other religions the god requires sacrifice from their subjects. With God, my Heavenly Father, He sacrificed His own Son, to forgive us, and to adopt us, making us His children and not just mere worshippers. Yet even being called His child, with my history with my own parents is still having an affect on how I am able to relate to others. Including my Heavenly Father. How can I trust that He wants me and that He has chosen me. I know I don’t deserve His love, that I have committed many sins. Yet in spite of all that I have done wrong, His love is perfect and He loves me perfectly. He will never leave or forsake me or you.

Read Deuteronomy 31:6&8

Hebrews 13:5-6

Psalm 27:10, 38:21, 71:9

Right Relations/5/12/19/Abused or Abuser

It took me blowing up and verbally abusive towards my daughter to realize that I was taking out my physical and emotional pain on her. When I heard the words coming out of my mouth, I realized that I had become my abusers all rolled up in one. Even though it was verbal, the damage was done. My relationship’s with those who had abused m, had affected how I was relating to my daughter. Thankfully I realized that I needed to stop and get help. The words that had come out of my mouth still haunt me. I had to acknowledge that I had allowed pain and anger fill me with hate.  Filled with hatred how could I love? Anger and resentment towards others effected how I treated my daughter. I love her, but what she got was an unstable mother who loved her but did not know how to love. I am thankful that through counseling and going through ‘Life ‘s Healing Choices’ a small group my church had offered helped me to make the changes that I had to, so I could heal from the abuse O had suffered. That what was done to me did not justify my behavior. I had to acknowledge the wrongs that I have done without blaming my actions on another. I am grateful that God forgave me and that I am not who I used to be. Now I pray that my daughter can forgive me and know that she never deserved how she was treated.

I am back! Thoughts on ‘Right Relations’ 5/11/19

ADAM N EVELast year I began a project on relationships, and I called it ‘Right Relations/How our relationship with people effects our relationship with God’. Well I have been distracted and derailed more times than I can count. Lately my health has been in a major issue. I am not writing consistently and it has been months since I have put any effort it into ‘Right Relations’. I have not wandered away from God, and my faith is still intact, but my focus is off. There was a reason that I wanted to write about our relationships. As God had shown me how each of my relationships in my life has had an effect on my relationship with Him. Though I had not forgotten about this project or how important is is on a personal level, I have allowed myself to get busy with other things and I have neglected this work. My back has been locked up for over 2 months now and I have had migraines, ear infections, blood vessel in my eye burst and a long list of other issues. I have barely been able to work and that has been the most I have been able to do. When I do work I come home and collapse unable to do much else. I pray and listen to my audio Bible, but I am frustrated and my focus has been on what I am unable to do. Instead my focus should be on what I can do and what God is doing for me in the midst of this valley. This project was not only to help others get closer to God but it is to help me better understand my relationship with Him.
Who of us has not been hurt, felt rejected or neglected, and even abandoned by the people in our lives? One way or another in our relationships we have been let down and have lost our trust in others and at times even with ourselves. So how can we have a good relationship with an unseen God, who we call our Heavenly Father? First we need to learn how our relationships have shaped our way of thinking. Jesus told us to even look with lust in our eyes is to have already committed the sin of adultery, and we are told to take every thought captive. Why? How we think dictates how we act or react. If I think someone is going to hurt me, I can push them away and build a wall around me to keep them from hurting me. I could run away and hide, or I could even try to hurt them before they can hurt me. The list goes on what I could do. So why do I think I might get hurt? Is it because I have been hurt in the past? The more you have been hurt the less you tend to trust. Yes there are those who seem to trust blindly who constantly get taken advantage of because they keep hoping that there is someone who they can trust who truly loves them, this is not healthy either.
One thing I have learned since I began this journey is that God is not man(this includes women too) No matter what any person has ever done to me, and no matter what pains I have suffered He has been the ONLY ONE, who has never let me down, but I have my focus on those who I feel I have to protect myself from more than I have kept my eyes on Him. So here is my ‘Do over’, starting back to work on ‘Right Relations’ but taking it from a new perspective. I my only have one post a week to share my progress, but this is my minimum goal. As I share my progress I hope my journey helps you with your relation with God too.

 

 

Thought for the day / April 13, 2019 / Star Wars

Star Wars - Episode IV - A New Hope - Mini Print F

I still remember the first time I watched the movie Star Wars. I was a child dressed in my pajamas with my parents at the Winnetka Drive-In theater in Chatsworth, California, in 1977. It has been quite a long time, and that old drive-in is now Pacific Winnetka 21 multiplex. I was only 8 years old then and now I am 49 and the making of Star Wars movies is still happening. The line, ‘Luke I am your father’, has not been forgotten. Even those who had not yet been born when the first movie came out know this line. The battle between good and evil, light and darkness. Darth Vader, and evil menacing character, who had once been good and was also Luke’s father.
I know these are not faith-based movies, but you can see some parallels. Darth Vader had once been good, but turned to the dark side. Lucifer had been and angel who turned against God and turned a third of the angels against god as well. Lucifer became Satan. The battle between good and evil had begun and God cast Lucifer and his angels out of heaven.
Now we must choose on which side we will fight. There is no Switzerland in this war, no neutral territory. When God wrote to the church of Laodecia, He told them they were neither hot or cold but luke warm and He would spit them out. Elijah said choose you this day who you will serve, God or Baal.
Ephesians tells us our battle is not one of flesh and blood, but is spiritual and we are to put on our armor daily. Why daily? The war is a daily one. From taking our thoughts captive and submitting God. Resisting the Devil and submitting to God. These are our choices. Not making a choice is still making a choice. We are to fight the good fight. This fight is not going out and getting into some fist fight, but fighting for the sake of righteousness. So on whose side will you be fighting?