Call To Prayer / Personal request Sept. 2, 2020

Call To Prayer / Personal request Sept. 2, 2020

I have previously shared a global prayer request for victims of human trafficking. Today I am requesting prayer for myself. Yesterday, for the third time in the past four weeks I have injured my right shoulder while working, I am going to be seeing a doctor today thanks to workman’s comp. Something I would not be able to do if they were not providing the medical care. My request is not only for physical healing and for the extreme pain shooting through my right side which is now effecting my left arm as well, but for my mental state. Pain is a trigger for anger in me. When I am in consistent pain for long enough my thoughts and then my words go to a bad place that I do not like and the I repent a lot! As the saying goes ‘hurt people, hurt people’. Thankfully I am usually alone when I have one of these episodes, but I do not forget what Jesus taught about even thinking of a sin, is to have committed the sin, like hatred being equal to murder. I also think about what Paul said about doing what he knows is wrong and wanting to do what is right. I want to do what is right and not lash out because of my pain. As a woman who God saved from abuse and the long term physical effects that abuse left both my body and mind to heal from I do not want to go back to being the person I was before I let Jesus into my life.

Pain Part 7 / A Prayer

This I Pray

Rom 8:18 NKJV  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.

A prayer
Father,
forgive me for complaining about my pain more than I praise you and for any time I blamed you for my suffering. I am sorry. Help me to praise you even when it hurts, to share Your love with others who hurt and are suffering. Use my imperfections to show the world Your perfect love. What the world designed for my destruction use to be glorified in me. For I understand that it is not You that hurt me or caused  my infirmities. I live in a fallen world and we have all been given free will to choose do right or wrong. I know when I have been hit and abused physically, sexually, and emotionally You were with me suffering with me. You know my every wound and pain because You bore my pain when You were beaten Jesus. They mocked You, spit on You, beat You, rejected You and crucified You, and still in that moment You did not defend Yourself but submitted Your body to their punishment because You love me. On the cross You said to Your Father, ‘Forgive them, they know not what they do.’ You forgave my sins and paid my debt when I did not deserve this from You. You love me truly and You cry with me when I cry and hurt when I hurt. This pain I feel may feel like I have suffered a lifetime but a time will come when I will know that it was just a small part of my life. Yes I have been hurt and I am weak but Your love fills me and gives me hope that better days are coming. Thank You so much for loving me as I am and for taking all the mess of my life and turning it into just one of Your masterpieces.
In Jesus name, Amen
Your imperfect Child

Thought for the day / What do you do when you have done everything that you can?

Thought for the day / What do you do when you have done everything that you can?

What do you do when you have done everything you can do? I have not been able to write for a while and even today typing this message is hurting me a lot, but the inspiration to share what my current state is teaching me is stronger than the pain. For over a month now I have been in so much pain I have barely been able to make it to work, but that is all I have been able to do. I hate missing fellowship with my church River of Life Christian Center, they may not be my natural family but they are my spiritual family. The hugs and love and words of encouragement, I really miss. I am thankful that I do not have to miss the messages because I can watch them online which feed me God’s word, but it is not the same as being there with them. Nick and Alissa my pastor and his wife are wonderful and have come by to check on me as well as my prayer team leader and friend Diane. Yet I want to be able to do more than barely work. I want to spend time with my spiritual family.  (If you don’t have a church you should come by, and if you are not in the area check us out online https://www.facebook.com/riveroflifeoverflowing/ )

I only work 20 to 30 hours a week and after cleaning and preparing meals for others but I come home and I cannot care for myself because my body can’t do more. Each week my pain level has increased, one more body are is going out on me. As I said in the beginning of this the pain in my hands is terrible and every stroke on the key board is like knives and electric pain from my fingers up through my arms and neck, which is increasing my headache.

I live alone so this makes things more difficult because there is only me, and then on Monday my phone was shut off, leaving me feeling even more cut off and isolated, thank God I still have internet. I also battle depression, so things have really been piling up. Do I blame God? Definitely not! He did not cause the damage to my body, my abusers are responsible for my physical pain, even the abuse has been over for a while now, the damage done is done. Do I believe God can heal me? Yes I do! Just because the physical healing has not manifested, I know I am healed. It is in God’s hands.

Yet frustration over circumstances and pain leaves me stressed over taking care of my basic necessities.  My church helps but I cannot expect them to pay for everything. I work even though my body screams at me it is in pain, so I have done everything I can to take care of my bills, my health, and my stated of mind. I know when people ask if I have done this or that and I have done it all, I am not frustrated with them, but the fact that instead in spite of doing everything I can and I am getting worse instead of better. It makes no logical sense.  I trade putting heat and ice on my back and neck.  I do the stretches I am supposed to do. I do breathing exercises, etc… and most important I pray and read or listen to His Word. I am finally taking a day off from work which I probably should have done sooner, but didn’t because of bills have to get paid and mine is the only income and yes I tithe.

Does my frustration mean I have lost faith? No. I have done everything that  I possibly can, yet I have still come up short. A quick side lesson from this is no matter how hard you work, you cannot earn salvation, it is a gift from God, paid for by Jesus.

So what do I do now that I have done everything I can and I still fall short of meeting my basic needs?  I wait and trust God is in control. What did Jesus say when He was in the boat and his disciples were afraid of the storm? – Matthew 8:26a ‘Your faith is so small! Why are you so afraid?’ There He was sleeping peacefully on a boat that was getting rocked by the storm and would have slept peacefully through the entire storm had the disciple in their fear woke Him up. Yes a storm may be all around me but He is in the boat with me. Now I do know this in my mind it is getting this message listened to by my body that is the challenge. Yes I am frustrated because of what  I can’t do right now. I am however thankful that God is compassionate and understanding and just because I don’t feel good right now it does not change who He is or our relationship. So now that I  have done everything that I can? For now I will rest and I know He is for me. He is the Good Father. I will trust in Him with my whole heart and lean not on my own understanding.

 

 

Things I Want….8/11/2017

Today I want to be able to feel the pain in my body without it effecting my mood.

This is not something new for me but my pain level over the last two weeks has been more than unbearable and it has worn me down to raw nerves. This how ever is no excuse for wrong behavior on mt part, and I also should not let it make me a less compassionate or loving person.

I read my Bible, I pray, and I sings songs of praise in worship which on any other day lifts my spirit, but in the last week I can really tell a difference in my attitude towards others. I am less patient, I tend to get offended easier than usual, and I am snapping at people I know God is forgiving and I know He did not cause my body t be in pain, but if this pain is the thorn in my flesh that I must bear then I want to do so with a spirit of joy and longsuffering. I want others to see the love of Jesus in spite of my pain.

Well it is time to get back to moving I have both packing and unpacking to do.

Fictional letters based on People in the Bible/ Dinah

Dear Dinah

My Dear Dinah,

     You are My beautiful and loving girl. You have been the victim twice. First Hamor raped you and stole your innocence. They tried to make things right and submitted themselves to your father’s decision. Thankfully he chose to forgive, and the man became your husband. His father the King and all the people of the land gave up their old ways and rid themselves of all their idols and other gods. They were circumcised to show their commitment to Me. I was now their God as I am yours.

     It was not My plan for you to be hurt, yet I was able to use what was meant to destroy you and use what was done to you to bring a nation to Me, so that something good had come out of what terrible thing that had been done to you. It was a chance for you to heal from what had been done to you. To remove the shame you felt. Yes there are those who would have blamed you, and I am sorry for the way they think about such a terrible crime. More than your body had been harmed, because he took from you what you did not give. You refused and he did what he wanted to satisfy his own desire not caring about what he was doing to you. He took your free will. I want to heal your heart and mind as well as your body from the damage he has done to you.

     Now your brothers have gone against your father’s decision and slaughtered not only your husband but many of the other men after they had been circumcised and were healing in their beds. This hurt you more because you feel that you were only an excuse for them to behave in this violent way. You did not feel the comfort of a brother’s love. They did not console you. Instead they stole from you from your husband by taking his life. Your pain did not end here. You have also lost your brother Joseph. Your other brothers told you that a wild animal had killed him. So he was dead because they said so. You have suffered such loss, your innocence, your husband, and your brother.

     I am sorry for the pain that you feel. I know that you may want to blame Me, for I am your God. I want to keep you from all harm and suffering. Yet I have given to all men free will. I could not control their actions without taking their free will away from them. As you chose to serve and love Me from your heart, is how I want them to choose for themselves. I love you and care deeply for you. I will heal you, and love you for all eternity. You will live with me one day and never suffer again. I promise you this.

Love,

Your Heavenly Father

Read

Genesis 34 & 37

Pain Part 7 A prayer

Rom 8:18 NKJV  For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.
A prayer
Father,
forgive me for complaining about my pain more than I praise you and for any time I blamed you for my suffering. I am sorry. Help me to praise you even when it hurts, to share Your love with others who hurt and are suffering. Use my imperfections to show the world Your perfect love. What the world designed for my destruction use to be glorified in me. For I understand that it is not You that hurt me or caused  my infirmities. I live in a fallen world and we have all been given free will to choose do right or wrong. I know when I have been hit and abused physically, sexually, and emotionally You were with me suffering with me. You know my every wound and pain because You bore my pain when You were beaten Jesus. They mocked You, spit on You, beat You, rejected You and crucified You, and still in that moment You did not defend Yourself but submitted Your body to their punishment because You love me. On the cross You said to Your Father, ‘Forgive them, they know not what they do.’ You forgave my sins and paid my debt when I did not deserve this from You. You love me truly and You cry with me when I cry and hurt when I hurt. This pain I feel may feel like I have suffered a lifetime but a time will come when I will know that it was just a small part of my life. Yes I have been hurt and I am weak but Your love fills me and gives me hope that better days are coming. Thank You so much for loving me as I am and for taking all the mess of my life and turning it into just one of Your masterpieces.
In Jesus name, Amen
Your imperfect Child

Pain Part 6 When will the pain end?

When will the pain end?

Every day can bring a new pain. Then there is the chronic pain that too many suffer with due to illness.  There is emotional pain from past hurts that were never healed due to neglect, denial, or a list of other reasons. Those who suffer from pain on a daily basis would like the pain to end. Pain makes you weary. Nobody likes pain! It drains you physically and emotionally. Pain can make you want to give up. I know I have had this kind of pain both physically and emotionally and begged God to let my life on this earth come to an end. He said, ‘NO!’ So here I am still hanging on and pushing forward. He is not going to give up on me so I must trust in Him even when it hurts and I have no long I must endure the pain. No matter how long it lasts, I know one day I will live in Hos world where I will never feel pain again.

Job 6:10 This would be my comfort; I would even exult in pain unsparing, for I have not denied the words of the Holy One.  
Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-pain-10-comforting-scriptures/#ixzz4C4urVOks

 

Pain Part 5

Born in Pain

Romans 8:22  We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time.

Jeremiah 22:23  You who live in ‘Lebanon,’ who are nestled in cedar buildings, how you will groan when pangs come upon you,pain like that of a woman in labor!

1 Chronicles 4:9  Jabez was more honorable than his brothers. His mother had named him Jabez, saying, “I gave birth to him in pain.”

John 16:21  A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world.

Isaiah 14:3  On the day the LORD gives you relief from your suffering and turmoil and from the harsh labor forced on you

The pain one feels when giving birth is known to every mother. Yet no matter how much pain she endures during the labor she loves her child. The pain lasted for a time but her love is without end. This is the closest comparison on earth to the love of God. He loves us even though we have caused Him pain. Think about the pain He felt when He sent His Son Jesus to pay for our sins. He watched His Son Jesus get spit on and beaten, mocked, humiliated, and finally crucified. Name one parent who would allow their child to be sacrificed for to pay for the crime of someone who is guilty? Parents know and understand pain. They watch their children grow and watch them get hurt, wipe their tears, and put bandages on cuts. Comfort them when their heart are broken. Cry with them. Yet what does a parent do when they lose their child? Parents lose children in custody battles, but a worse loss is losing their child to death. How do these parents live with this pain? God knows this pain. His Son our Savior rose from the grave, but for three days he laid in a grave. Born into a world that would despise Him, reject Him and crucify Him, Jesus knew He would suffer pain. His love outweighed the pain, which is good for us. He wants to comfort us, to heal us,and to love us, in spite of the pain we cause Him. This is the love of the Father. Love is greater than pain.

Pain Part 4

If you have ever been in a fight, you know when you get hit it is going to hurt. Even blocking a blow is painful. Boxers, martial artists, and other fighters train their bodies not only to fight but to endure the pain the fight will cause the body, so that when they get hit the pain doesn’t knock them out. The pain they go through during their training and even a fight is not the pain that you feel though. So you may be thinking why am I talking about the pain they put their bodies through. Whatever your pain may be you understand that it hurts. There is pain from health problems, and pain killers may give temporary relief from the pain but the cause of the pain remains. There is pain from the loss of a loved one, the end of a relationship,and the loss of a job. There is emotional pain which may have been caused by something small or by something tragic like abuse. I have yet to meet one person that has not experienced pain. When I first began this series on pain, it was because that I was laying in pain and crying out to God that I was tired of hurting. Then a simple vision of a fighter deflecting blows came to my mind and I thought if that person had never been hit before and had not experience pain that blow would have knocked him out. Then I thought about all the different things that have caused pain in my life. I though about the times that I was so tired of pain that I just wanted to give up. That living was too painful. Yet here I am! Pain and all I am still here. I have endured the pain and because God did not give up on me I have not lost my faith in Him. He said that no weapon formed against me will prosper. He did not say there would not be any weapons.(Isaiah 54:17 (NKJV)  No weapon formed against you shall prosper, And every tongue which rises against you in judgment You shall condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, And their righteousness is from Me,”Says the Lord.) In this world we will face trials and tribulations. If you belong to Jesus you will face attacks by those in the world both physically and spiritually. We are not to fight as the world fights but we will fight the good fight and yes experience pain. We can take the pain we have experienced in our life and use it to do good for the Lord. (Genesis 50:20 (NKJV) But as for you, you meant evil against me; but God meant it for good, in order to bring it about as it is this day, to save many people alive.) the pain that I have lived through has given me compassion when I meet someone who is hurting. It has even given me understanding for some peoples behavior. It has helped me to know who and what to pay for. God has never wanted for you be in pain, but because we live in a fallen world and face battles we get hurt. He can turn your pain into something beautiful. If you have been abused (sexually, physically or emotionally) you understand how this pain can destroy a person who never experiences the love of Christ. Then they hear your testimony and see how you have learned to live beyond the abuse and how God has healed you from the pain you suffered and how you have a joy that they cannot understand they then can receive Jesus and be healed and saved. Your testimony is a great weapon to use against the enemy because you are living proof of what God will do for anyone who turns to Him. Our witness in how we deal with the pain we feel its a tool that even a stranger can acknowledge and desire to know how you do it. When you tell them God is with you in both good times and bad you share His love and faithfulness. Yes your pain hurts and you have days that like myself you cry out and want to give up. Please don’t! When a woman gives birth it hurts! Yet she pushes, and pushes until that beautiful new life enters the world. Push through your pain and you too will enter into a new life. A day will come when Jesus will return, until then fight the good fight, stand firm and endure the pain, in the end great will be your reward.

God bless and heal your wounds.

Pain Part 3

Pain is unavoidable and is an unpleasant part of life. If I were to say that I enjoyed pain you would know something is wrong with me. I hate pain, it hurts! So what do you when you feel pain? How do you react when someone hurts you?  To be honest when I am hurt I my first thought is not to be kind. I would like to hit the person who hit me back. Yet Jesus tells us to turn and offer the other cheek. (Luke 6:29 If someone strikes you on one cheek,turn to him the other also. And if someone takes your cloak, do not withhold your tunic as well. ) No matter how many times I read this verse I still say, “Really?” Yet then I also remember visiting a dojo, and watched a sensei do a demonstration. He stood with a gentle smile on his face while a student proceeded to strike him repetitively on both cheeks. His expression never changed no matter how many times he was struck, he just stood there smiling. I was on the opposite side of the large room and could hear the sound of each hit, and I could see the red marks left on his cheeks. At the end of the demonstration he simply said, “We are to do no harm. Just because you are hit does not mean that you must react. To hurt the one who is attacking you is to do harm. Taking time to determine if the attack is truly threatening and evaluating your response is important.” He was not teaching that his students become punching bags, but to not react in anger. Pain can lead to anger quickly. Scripture tells us to be slow to anger and that a gentle answer turns away wrath.(James 1:19 My beloved brothers, understand this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to anger,/Proverbs 15:A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.) So then the next time you are hurt take a moment and think what is your best reaction. Just because we are in pain does not mean we are allowed to cause pain in return. (Genesis 31:29 I have the power to harm you; but last night the God of your father said to me, ‘Be careful not to say anything to Jacob, either good or bad.’) Every day some one or thing may hurt you, and the pain you feel will make you feel bad. Yet even while in pain you can choose to do the right thing no matter how much it may hurt. Think about the story of Job and how much pain he went through. Pain of losing children, his health and his wealth. Yet even when criticized and told to curse God and die he remained faithful to God. When he made it through all this tragedy he went a step further. God was going to deal with his friends who basically kicked him while he was down. Yet Job interceded for them and saved their lives. He is a better man than I am(okay I am a woman, but you get my meaning). His example inspires me to do better and to ask God to help me to become a more gentle person who does not have to act in anger just because I am in pain.

God bless and keep you from all harm.