I know I recently shared this, but today while at church we had a guest speaker Charity Cook, and as she was speaking and sharing a part of her testimony, I heard God tell me two things, the first was that I was not getting out of my responsibility to share this part of my testimony. There had been event in Alvord a little over 5 years ago, that was hosted by the church I belonged to and a few other churches, in the area. I used the excuse they had enough speakers and they didn’t need to hear from me, even though God had told me I was supposed share my story, I chickened out. God however has made it clear that it is time to share this part of my testimony, no excuse. Just do it. The second thing is that is time for me to change the title of my post; Testimony / I gave up on life and survived to – I gave up on life but now I live because He didn’t give up on me. So I will be sharing this not only with you who read my blog, but with those who know me but do not really know me. It is time to trust them with my story.
There are many who battle depression and the holidays become a more difficult time for those that battle it. Some people you know who battle this are people that you may not know that are suffering because they hide it well. They carry this burden alone, some out of fear. Fear of being judged or condemned, of being called weak or a coward. Afraid that no one could understand their pain, that they should just get over it. Now these are not the only reasons but a short list. For these people the pain is suffocating, and they feel like they are being crushed. At the same time they feel like they are drowning and that there is no one to help. So they put on their mask and act as if everything is okay, but when they are alone, exhausted from pretending, it takes everything with in them not to give up. Unfortunately some of us just can’t go on and we give up. This is my testimony of getting to that place.
In Recognition of National Suicide Prevention week I am sharing my testimony once again, not because I am proud of what I had done but to share how grateful I am that I am still alive today. I hope this piece of my testimony will help at least one person.
Testimony / I gave up on life and survived
This is one of the most difficult thing I have to share with the world. I am not seeking your pity nor do I need your judgment. I am sharing this only because I pray to reach if just one person who is at the end of their rope and is ready to jump of of that ledge.
I cannot say that I understand your pain or what has lead you to this point but I pray that you will stop long enough to read these words that I am…
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