I have recently lost two people I care deeply about with a very short time of each other. I know death is a part of life, but this does not bring comfort when someone you love has passed away. I also understand that there is nothing a person can say to take away the pain of your loss. It has been years now since my mother died of a stroke, but time did not take away how much I still miss her. Now a woman who has been like a second mother to me is gone. Another person who I had worked for over ten years, had also been a friend and father figure. I had left his funeral to visit Mary, and within a short time of coming home from visiting her she was gone. I am grateful for the time I had with both of these amazing people. Yet I still miss them. I am glad that I was able to spend time with Mary in the days that preceded her passing. I had not had the ability to do the same with my Mom, since she had died suddenly, so the time with Mary was very special. Doc had closed shop and moved away, so news of his death was shocking. At least his memorial was held here, and I was able to spend some time with his family.
I was blessed of these wonderful and loving people. Loosing them in such a short period of time is hard, but I am still alive, and they will not be forgotten. Life is a special gift that we should cherish what time we get to spend with each other while we are still here, because like it or not it does come to an end.
So call a loved one, or better yet spend time with them.
Tonight I confess that I am angry. Last night a young man who had gone to school with my daughter was shot and killed. I did not know this young man but my daughter did. This is not why I am angry though. The shooting happened across the street from where I live and recently the man who had shot the young man had beaten his wife and she had to go to the hospital. The woman did not press charges against him so he wait not arrested.
Now a mother and father have lost their son. The man who killed him has not yet been found. I do not know how long he can hide and who may be helping him. I only know that my heart breaks for the young man’s family and I am angry that a man who should have already been in jail for domestic violence has taken the life of someone who did not get a chance to live his life.
When is loss of life acceptable and meaningless? The world treats life as it is expendable. Your life an my life mean nothing to this world. Drugs both legal and illegal taking lives everyday. Babies thrown away through countless abortions. Lives lost to murders. Fatal car accidents caused by careless drivers who are to busy on their phone or devices. This list goes on and you know of ways lives are wasted or destroyed everyday.
You can heard it said in our government and big business the term acceptable loss. It is usually a financial loss when it comes to business but not always. The bean counters calculate the costs of lawsuits to be filed against the company. If the pay out to the law suits is less than making the costly changes that may prevent the loss of life then they proceed and subtract the legal costs from their profits.Then there are casualties of war. Innocent lives of no combatant people, the nonmilitary residents of a war zone who are injured or worse killed due to battles happening where they live.Once again you can hear the term acceptable loss.
The unfortunate fact that lives will be lost and people will be injured and killed everyday is going to happen. Even people who live in peaceful areas still face death. Most hope to pass from this world peacefully. Yet I do not believe that any loss of life is acceptable and I believe God feels the same. If He did not He could have wiped us out years ago before He sent His Son to pay the price for our sins. Yet He is merciful and patient. He is not slow as we count slowness but patient that all call to repentance.2 Peter 3:9.
As frustrating as waiting can be, I am grateful God is patient, loving and merciful or none of us would have a chance. Your life and the lives of those around you, and not just the lives of those you like, all life is precious to Jesus. He died for you and for me so that we can live and not perish. Life is a gift and we should treasure all life. No loss is acceptable.
Mary was there when Jesus was crucified. She watched her son die. The news of being blessed with a child has now turned into heartbreak.
Luke 1:26-38 (ESV) Birth of Jesus Foretold
In the sixth month the angel Gabriel was sent from God to a city of Galilee named Nazareth,27 to a virgin betrothed[a] to a man whose name was Joseph, of the house of David. And the virgin’s name was Mary.28 And he came to her and said, “Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!”[b]29 But she was greatly troubled at the saying, and tried to discern what sort of greeting this might be.30 And the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God.31 And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus.32 He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High. And the Lord God will give to him the throne of his father David,33 and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.”
34 And Mary said to the angel, “How will this be, since I am a virgin?”[c]
35 And the angel answered her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born[d] will be called holy—the Son of God.36 And behold, your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son, and this is the sixth month with her who was called barren.37 For nothing will be impossible with God.”38 And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant[e] of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
What a blessing. She is to be a mother. She will conceive and carry a life into this world. What joyful news. How full of joy would she have been if she knew that this child she was being blessed with was going to die? Yes this is the reason He was born. Jesus was born to die for all of our sins. His birth had purpose and so did His death but does this knowledge stop the pain? No it does not.
I have a daughter who is alive but I am not allowed in her life and I have discussed the reasons for this in previous posts. Yet the pain of the loss of her presence I believe pales in comparison to those who have children whose lives were cut short. Unfortunately I know too many who have lost their children and my heart breaks for them but I do not know their pain. Mary knows their pain. She brought a child into this world and then watched Him die at the age of 33 years.
John 19:25-29 (NKJV) Behold Your Mother
Now there stood by the cross of Jesus His mother, and His mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. 26 When Jesus therefore saw His mother, and the disciple whom He loved standing by, He said to His mother, “Woman, behold your son!”27 Then He said to the disciple, “Behold your mother!” And from that hour that disciple took her to his own home.
It Is Finished
28 After this, Jesus, knowing[a] that all things were now accomplished, that the Scripture might be fulfilled, said, “I thirst!”29 Now a vessel full of sour wine was sitting there; and they filled a sponge with sour wine, put it on hyssop, and put it to His mouth.
Is there anything I can do for these friends who have had to say goodbye to their children that will make anything better? The answer is no. They have lost a treasure no word, gift, or action can replace or make better. All I can do is be here for them. If they want to talk, I need to just listen. If they cannot or do not want to talk then just be there silently and love them. I cannot fix them and they do not expect me to.
Telling them that their children are in a better place does not ease the pain of their loss in this world. And please do not tell them it was God’s plan. I cannot believe that it is God’s plan for a child to die if that is the case then why do people care about abortion? (Okay that is a rant for another day.) Loss cases pain and once a person is gone no mater the age we feel the pain of that loss. I am not writing this as an instruction manual to go remove the pain, but to remind us all that loss is painful and the loss of a child cannot be made better. Holidays are not happy and joy filled occasions for these parents. Let us give them compassion and love.
Thankfully God knows their pain and their grief and He can give them what we cannot.
Prayer
Father in Heaven, comfort those parents who have children who have left this world. You know their pain and sorrow and I know that You cry with them. Thank you for loving them as a parent for You are the Father. Give them peace that comes only from you, I ask this in Your Son’s Name Jesus, our Lord and Savior. Amen.
Psalm 119:105 (KJV)Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path.
This Bible is one of my favorite treasures. I grew up not knowing that my mother had ever known or believed in Jesus. It wasn’t until I became an adult that I learned that she had been a Christian. Unfortunately after she married my father and he became very abusive, her relationship with Christ had been left behind. You cannot lose your salvation but you can turn your back on it and walk away. Finding my mothers Bible was the way I had found out about her faith. She told me when she met my father it was in her church’s rectory and she was a part of the youth missions. Unfortunately after they moved to the mainland their marriage turned to the worst and she stopped going to church and lived as if she never had attended. Yet this discussion led to others and over the years she talked more to me about praying for me. Then almost 5 years ago she died suddenly of a stroke. I was heart broken not knowing if she had repented and returned to Jesus. It was hard enough to lose her in this life but I wondered if I ever would see her again. Then the year after she died just before Thanksgiving I received an email from my Auntie Mary who had written to tell me that my mother had received Jesus as her Savior some months before she died in her church New Hope Oahu, and then she included a clip of the praise and worship. Although I missed my mother terribly this was the best news. I watched the video with tears of joy and danced as I watched them hula as my mother used to love me to dance for her. I still cry when I watch these, but not with sadness of loss but because of the beauty of His love and mercy and the knowledge she is with Him waiting for me.
Her Bible is old and fragile but it is a map of the words she read and what ouched her heart and now these words comfort me.
I am thankful for the Word made flesh that saved my mother and for her Bible which is now mine.
Today is the anniversary of a day we should never forget. September 11,2001. So many lives lost. Attacks on American soil. The Twin Towers, the Pentagon, and Flight 93. A nation pulled together for a time. Let us remember those whose lives were taken that day and due to the events of that day. Remember them and unite in the love of Christ once again.
To them I will give in My house and within My walls a memorial, And a name better than that of sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name which will not be cut off.
This is the most important thing I have left of my Mom.
Reading the notes written
The things she had recorded and a couple I added
Reading the scriptures she highlighted.
She may be gone from this earth but what gives me peace is that because of her faith in Jesus I know I will see her again one day. That this separation is only temporary even though it feels like a life time.
3 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:
2 A time to be born, And a time to die; A time to plant, And a time to pluck what is planted; 3 A time to kill, And a time to heal; A time to break down, And a time to build up; 4 A time to weep, And a time to laugh; A time to mourn, And a time to dance; 5 A time to cast away stones, And a time to gather stones; A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing; 6 A time to gain, And a time to lose; A time to keep, And a time to throw away; 7 A time to tear, And a time to sew; A time to keep silence, And a time to speak; 8 A time to love, And a time to hate; A time of war, And a time of peace.
I still miss my Mom very much. Four years have now passed since you left this world. There are days that I still cry when I think of her, but smiles and joy filled thoughts have replaced many of those days. I think of the good times we had and the times we did enjoy together. I also think about the day when my aunt had emailed me and included a video clip of the praise and worship of the church where my Mom had given her heart back to Jesus. That moment brought tears of joy and dancing, because then I knew I would see her again one day when I join her in my Fathers home. I do not know when that will be, so for now I live each day with hope and peace knowing that she may be gone from this earth but she waits for me with Him until it is my time to join them in heaven.
Today is just another day, but I was blessed with this beautiful present, by a couple who are so very special to me. It has now been over three years since my Mom died, and I still miss her very much. Yet when I spend time with my friend Janie I am often mistaken for her daughter. Which is interesting since my mother’s first name was Jane, although she went by Keiko. We have both suffered loss of loved ones, for me it is my Mom for her it is two sons. I told her today that we will see them again in heaven someday but while we are on earth, I will be the child for the children she lost and she will be the mother whom I lost. I am so grateful for her and her husbands friendship, they have truly blessed me with more than a kimono but with a friendship that is more like family.
Your love and devotion has been seen. For I see your heart and what is truly inside of you. You married into a family that was not like your own. They came from a foreign land and have only one God. I Am their God. You made your husband’s’ mother your own. You made their God, your God. I Am the One you now serve. When your husband died, you did not lose your faith in Me. You stayed loyal to Naomi. Even when she released you, and tried to send you back to your family, you refused to go. You stayed with her and left your own family and the only place you had ever known. Travelling with Naomi to the land of her youth you left your home. She had nothing to offer you, and yet you served her faithfully. This showed Me that your love is true.
You immediately went to work to take care of not only your needs, but the needs as Naomi as well. You worked the fields gleaning after others, and brought her what you could gather. You listened and obeyed her instructions. Through your obedience you entered the path to your redemption. The field you chose to work belongs to a relative of Naomi’s. You did not know this.
The first time he saw you working in the field he noticed you. He asked who you were and he was told that you are Naomi’s daughter in-law the Moabite and that you were both now widows He made sure that not only were you protected but as the harvesters gathered that they left a little extra grain for you to gather. When you returned that day You brought Naomi great joy. She told her about this family member and what you should do. You listened and did what she instructed you to do.
What you had to do did mean you had to risk your life. Naomi instructed you to wait for Boaz to find a place to sleep, for there was a festival celebrating the harvest. When he became tired he laid down and fell asleep. You then uncovered his feet and laid down covering them with the bottom of your dress. When he woke up and found you he did not turn you away. He however had to send you back to Naomi till he could redeem you from another relative first. He knew how to deal with him and he then was able to marry you. Now you are now adopted into my family of Israel. Through your love and devotion others will be blessed. I love you for the woman you are, and I am happy to call you My own. May the rest of your life be blessed.
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