Back in July I had to move from an apartment in which I had lived for nine years into a smaller apartment. I was not happy about the move since it was not my choice, I was also no happy that the move was in the middle of summer. I also did not like that even though I was being moved into a smaller apartment my rent was raised. I had to seriously down size. Now here it is the end of October and I am still trying to find place to put my belongings and still having repairs made to my new apartment. I have also had the fourth change in clients since May, which took at least two weeks each change to be assigned new clients, which meant that I did not get paid for the time of transition. Change is inevitable but it is something we all most deal with. We may not like the changes that are happening in our lives but I have to accept that there are things which I cannot control, but I can find things to be grateful for.
I am grateful for the friends who came and helped me move. I am thankful to have a place to live. I am thankful to my God who is with me through it all. I am thankful that He is merciful when my frustrations over my circumstances get the best of me. I am thankful for those who love me and care for me. I am thankful for a gracious and forgiving Savior who loves me as I am, and for His transforming love. I am grateful that He has helped me become a new person, that I may not be perfect but I am not the person who I used to be and that His love continues to mold me into a new creation.
Life is not perfect, but I am loved perfectly by the One who created me.
This is me rambling. Once again I had a sleepless night but this time it was not because of my body was in pain (although it does it hurt today). At around 11 pm last night I heard the first sirens which since I live near an EMT station is nothing new but I realized that the sirens I was hearing did not come from an ambulance. So I stepped out on my porch to watch a firetruck go by. I did what came out of habit and prayed for the safety of those on the truck and prayed for God to send His angels to where they were going to be with those they were going to. Then a little while later another fire truck from another town passed my apartment. This got more than my prayers it got my attention. It had started raining but I didn’t go back inside but walked out in it. ( A little water doesn’t hurt. It is not like I am in OZ and I am not the witch so I won’t melt) More trucks went by and I could finally see the flames above the trees from the next street over. The last fire truck to go by was another volunteer firetruck from a neighboring town around 1 am. I am not sure what time they finally put the fire out and how much worse it would have been if the rain had not come but I had finally came in at 3 am. Not knowing who I was praying for or which house or houses were on fire I prayed. I asked others to pray. I didn’t have to know theses people but the ones fighting the fire didn’t have to know who they were fighting to save either. All of these firemen are volunteers. Our fire department here in Bridgeport is a volunteer fire department and so are those in the surrounding towns. They do not get paid to do what they do. They have other jobs, but if a fire happens they gear up get on the truck and put their lives on the line. I am grateful that none of these people got hurt last night but unfortunately the man who lived in the house did not make it. I pray for his family. So why am I writing about this? To be honest I am not sure what prompted me but as I have been writing one of things have come to mind. The first is unity. Neighboring towns got together to put out a fire. They worked together and they did so at risk to their own lives and without pay. *Think about that the next time someone wants to be paid 15.00 to flip burgers at McDonald’s.) I hate to say this but Christians are at odds with each other. Whether it is from one denomination against another, or division within the individual churches. Then how we respond to others outside of our religion. We too often speak with hateful and condemning words. We forget that even if they do not believe in Jesus that He still loves them and died for them to. Jesus taught for us to love our enemies and to bless those who curse us. Instead we play the role of judge and often condemn others, within our own families, churches, neighborhoods and so on and on. We need to learn to work together in Christ’s love for us all. This does not mean I condone sin. Sin is sin, but name one of us who is without sin. Well I will end this by adding a song I hope you enjoy it. I am done rambling for now.
“The Japanese art of Kintsugi, or Kintsukuroi, repairs broken pottery with seams of gold. This repairs the brokenness in a way that makes the object even more beautiful for being broken. It is a long and difficult process, but the results are treasured by those around it. Uplifting and hopeful, it is an inspiring metaphor for dealing with the times we feel broken in life. It’s a reminder to find the gold to mend ourselves.”
I’m not sure we can always find gold, or that we can always be able to mend ourselves; I believe we need to let the One who made us for Himself also to be the One who restores our souls unto Himself – that we would be the medium of His further creative impulse to redeem us – to the praise of His glory.
Nevertheless this is a powerful metaphor of the beauty of restoration –…
I have a collection of poetry that I wrote sometime back. These do not reflect my current situation or how I feel today. I feel that sharing these will hopefully help someone who is struggling with depression and low self worth due to abuse of any nature. The scars abuse leaves do not dictate where you are going but are a map that shows how far you have come. God will use what was done to me to help reach others and do good. He did not cause the pain, but He healed me through Jesus.
Damaged Goods written by Julie Sheppard
Damaged goods that is what I am
Broken beyond repair
But then again
Does anyone really care?
I see the stares
but they do not look at me
just what they want me to be
I am nothing to them
but someone to bed To call when they…