You were supposed to protect me

Many years ago while I was living back in California There was a child abuse case that had me enraged. I was not personally involved in it but as I read the newspaper article I could not believe who had been abusing these children. A C.P.S. worker whose job was to transport these children had been molesting children who were already victims of abuse during transport. This man who was supposed to be a protector had victims literally dropped into his lap. Though he was convicted he received a sentence that shocked me on how short it was and was being released to live in my neighborhood. As I read this article I remember my mother to telling me I needed to stop reading the news because it upset me too much.

The outrage was not mine alone neighbors were afraid of having a sex offender who victimized children in their neighborhood. This man was supposed to protect these already traumatized children. It was his job. He was a first responder to emergency situations where children had to be immediately removed from homes. In my eyes this man is a monster who preyed on the weak and injured. I could not believe that after being convicted this man was given such a light sentence which seemed to be not much more than a slap on the wrist.

So after all these years why write about it now? To be honest I do not know what brought this back to my mind. He was not the one who had abused me. Yet the memory of this incident is fresh in my mind today. There are so many children in the world today who are being abused in one way or another. Who is protecting them? Who is fighting for them? Thankfully there are some groups who are doing this but they are limited in what they can do. They can’t prevent what is being done and are not able to know about victims until it is too late for some.

Those who are in the homes and lives of these children are the first line of defense.  Yet how many times is a blind eye turned. People do not want to get involved and even worse when one parent knows what is going on but does nothing. What are these children supposed to think? Who can they trust? What happens to them? How does this effect the person they grow up to be?

T.D. Jakes made a movie Woman Thou Art Loosed that was based on a woman who had been sexually abused as a child and how as an adult it was still effecting her life. Tyler Perry’s movie, Family Reunion included a story of one of the daughters who had not only been molested by her stepfather the mother even groomed her daughter for her husband. How unfortunate that even though these movies are fictional they are based on things that happen in real life. Real victims who have people in their lives who turn their backs on them. People who could stop the pain and suffering. Parents, family, friends, care takers, and neighbors to name those who are closest to these children. For what ever reason they do not get involved they do nothing to protect these children. Yet these same people turn and blame God not realizing that God wanted to work through them, to use them to protect and defend. In the movie, The Encounter, there is a scene that I remember vividly. In this scene a teenage girl who had been sexually abused by her stepfather was yelling at Jesus asking Him where was He? His response has stuck with me. He said, ‘I was there yelling into his ear to stop’ but because of free will, all He could do was plead with her stepfather. Yes God is powerful enough to stop us in our tracks but He does not because of the gift of free will. Something He won’t give to just one and deny another. We are His hands and feet. He wants us to take action to be watchmen and guards who protect.

Ephesians 6:4 ESV  Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

John 17:15 ESV  I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.

I grew up believing my mother left me to my father who had abused her and then becoming the one he abused. Angry that she had left me behind only to save herself. Unfortunately it was only six years ago that I learned she had to make a sacrifice that she never spoke of. After one very horrifying act against my mother, he threatened her with me and my brother. Making it clear that if she did not leave us with him and give him custody I would not be alive today. There were relatives of his that knew what he was doing yet did nothing and even let me believe the terrible things he said to me about her. Even to this day they defend him. As I grew up my mother even let me speak any disrespectful words about him around her. She did not defend herself either. I am only sorry that we had only began to heal our relationship before she died suddenly of a massive stroke. I am still heartbroken that t took a tragedy inflected upon me by my stepmother and father to reveal what was done to her, how much of my life was wasted being angry at her and the guilt and shame she lived with so I could still be alive today. She couldn’t stop him from hurting me but she did keep me alive and for this I will be forever grateful. I know this is just a small piece of my life. At least I can say now I know she did her best to protect me. (I love and miss you Momma.)


Giving Thanks December 30, 2016 – Thankful For Children

Psalms 127:3 – Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

John 16:21 – A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.

baby-me-n-momIsaiah 54:13 – And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great [shall be] the peace of thy children.

Proverbs 17:6 – Children’s children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.

3 John 1:4 – I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.

Matthew 18:10 – Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.

Mark 10:14 – But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.


Children are gifts from God. They can bring joy and laughter. They can also bring tears and heartache. Yet life without them is empty. Thankful for all of the children who have blessed my life.



Miss them for a day they will come home

If you are a parent and your children have begun school, you know the anxiety of that first day you send them off to school. They are no longer under only your care. You have sent them off into the world and you will not be there to hold their hand. Now think about the first weekend they went to spend at a friends house, and then to summer camp. You want them to have fun and enjoy themselves but you worry about them getting hurt and not being there. Now think about God. He is our Heavenly Father. Jesus our Savior is His Son. Think about the day He sent Jesus to born to Mary. Jesus wasn’t going to be gone for a day, or a week, or even a month. Luke 3;23 states Jesus was 30 years old when He began His ministry. They spent over 30 years physically separated. Yes they both knew the other was there and Jesus prayed to His Father, but you know the difference in a conversation over the phone and one that is face to face. They must have missed each other in ways we could not imagine.


They sacrificed their time together not so that Jesus could go off and have an enjoyable trip. He was not on vacation. He didn’t come here to ski or surf. He didn’t plan a shopping trip or stay in some five star hotel. He didn’t eat at restaurants that you needed a reservation only to be waited on by some snobby waiter.

No He left His Father’s house to come to be with people who would hate and reject Him. Who mocked and ridiculed Him. Who plotted to take His life. Who beat and spit on Him. Who falsely accused him. Who abandoned Him. Who crucified Him.

Being a parent would you knowingly send your child on a trip where you knew without a doubt they would be hurt? You would say ‘No!’ If you had a choice of laying down your life to save your child’s you would do it in a split second. Yet if it was a person who hated you and made your life miserable and even tried to take your life, would you sacrifice your own life, or the life of your child? Once again the answer is ‘No! Yet that is what God, our Heavenly Father, and Jesus have done for us. God did not say no to Jesus leaving Heaven, and Jesus did not beg to stay in the comfort of His own Home. A home free from sin and hate. He left home not for a day, a week, or a month. He was away from His home for years, and they were not comfortable or easy ones. He said He didn’t even have a place to lay His head in Luke 9:58. Look at all the beds that are sold today. We have all the man made comforts because we don’t like to be uncomfortable. Headache? Take a pill. Muscles hurt, rub some icy-hot on it. Want something to eat and in a hurry pop something in the microwave or go to a face food restaurant. Jesus did not wait for the luxuries we now have. He came when the earth was your bed and there was no running water. No X-box or Nintendo to entertain the kids. How Jesus loves the children. He even rebuked a disciple for trying to send the children away. He told them let the children come to Him. Luke 18:15-17.

How much love they must have for each of us to know the life He would have on earth and all the pain and suffering that He would endure because of us. Yet this knowledge did not stop Him from coming the first time. people get ready He hasn’t given up on us and He is coming back to take us home. Now that will be a homecoming of a lifetime!

A little note for those who have children who have gone on to be with the Father and have left you here. I have not forgotten about you. This for you is written with reverse roles and my prayers are for you.

When Children Think They know Better

I once saw a bumper sticker that said, ‘Hire a teenager while they still know everything’. I remember the conversations I had with my friends when I was a teenager, where we discussed ow different we would be as parents. If I only knew then what I know now. My childhood was no paradise and I had a an abusive parent and one who I had thought had abandoned me but that is a story for a different time. Yet no matter how bad or good my parents may have been, I was still a youth and still had much to learn. In my anger and hate I made some terrible mistakes, like so many others have.

Now here are two daughters who made a very bad decision and the result of their action.

Genesis 19:30-38 / Lot and His Daughters

30 Now Lot went up out of Zoar and lived in the hills with his two daughters, for he was afraid to live in Zoar. So he lived in a cave with his two daughters. 31 And the firstborn said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is not a man on earth to come in to us after the manner of all the earth. 32 Come, let us make our father drink wine, and we will lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.” 33 So they made their father drink wine that night. And the firstborn went in and lay with her father. He did not know when she lay down or when she arose.

34 The next day, the firstborn said to the younger, “Behold, I lay last night with my father. Let us make him drink wine tonight also. Then you go in and lie with him, that we may preserve offspring from our father.”35 So they made their father drink wine that night also. And the younger arose and lay with him, and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose. 36 Thus both the daughters of Lot became pregnant by their father. 37 The firstborn bore a son and called his name Moab.[b] He is the father of the Moabites to this day. 38 The younger also bore a son and called his name Ben-ammi.[c] He is the father of the Ammonites to this day.


  1. Genesis 19:22 Zoar means little
  2. Genesis 19:37 Moab sounds like the Hebrew for from father
  3. Genesis 19:38 Ben-ammi means son of my people

The sons these women gave birth to became the fathers of the nations that became enemies of Israel. They were conceived in in sin. They had perverted the relationship with their father. Scripture tells us how important it is for us to honor our parents.

Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

“‘Honor your father and your mother, as the Lord your God commanded you, that your days may be long,and that it may go well with you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.

For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’

Honor your father and mother, and, You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

For Moses said, ‘Honor your father and your mother’; and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’

You know the commandments: ‘Do not murder, Do not commit adultery, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness, Do not defraud, Honor your father and mother.’”

You know the commandments: ‘Do not commit adultery, Do not murder, Do not steal, Do not bear false witness,Honor your father and mother.’”

Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise),

English Standard Version (ESV)The Holy Bible, English Standard Version Copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

As children of God our Lord and creator we still act like children towards are earthly parents no matter what our age is. We think we can do it better and that we know best, but guess what? We don’t and we are wrong.

The Lord knows the thoughts of man, That they are futile.
“For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways,” says the Lord.

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts.
Do you remember the old ‘Father knows Best?’
Well the title of this show is true, Our Father in Heaven truly knows what is best for us, and we need to stop arguing with Him and learn to honor Him truly. Don’t think you are arguing with Him? Okay, when was the last time you did something your own way? You didn’t have to say a word your actions said it all. You trusted in your own ability instead of seeking His guidance.
Jesus told us if we loved Him we will keep His commands. We like to rate which commands are more important and which sins are the worst. We also like to judge each other and point out each others faults. Hateful looks are given and we reject someone when they are down. I hate to say I have been guilty of this myself. So you can call me a hypocrite and you would be right. Thank God that I have acknowledged this flaw in myself and that He is teaching me how to change, not just in word or action but He is changing my heart and mind. I failed in honoring my mother and father when I was a child and I have failed to honor my Heavenly Father, so I am thankful for His grace and forgiveness and for the ability to repent and change. I pray now to honor Him with all of me, even when I face troubles and attacks. For honoring Him truly blesses with me. For He forgives me and gives me eternal life through Jesus, His son.
I admit now I don’t know it all but I m willing to be taught by The Greatest Teacher, Jesus. For He is the Word, and His Word lights the path I am to follow.