National Suicide Prevention Week& My Testimony

I know I recently shared this, but today while at church we had a gust speaker Charity Cook, and as she was speaking and sharing a part of her testimony, I heard God tell me it was time to change the title of my post; Testimony / I gave up on life and survived to – I gave up on life but now I live because He didn’t give up on me.
There are many who battle depression and the holidays become a more difficult time for those that battle it. Some people you know who battle this you may not know they are suffering because they hide it well. They carry this burden alone, pray that God reveals them to you so that you can let them know that they are not alone and that you love them.


In Recognition of National Suicide Prevention week I am sharing my testimony once again, not because I am proud of what I had done but to share how grateful I am that I am still alive today. I hope this piece of my testimony will help at least one person.

Testimony / I gave up on life and survived

This is one of the most difficult thing I have to share with the world. I am not seeking your pity nor do I need your judgment. I am sharing this only because I pray to reach if just one person who is at the end of their rope and is ready to jump of of that ledge.

I cannot say that I understand your pain or what has lead you to this point but I pray that you will stop long enough to read these words that  I am…

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Right Relations / Divorce – thoughts December 6, 2018

Please as you read this understand that this is still a work in progress and has a lot of work left to do before it will be finished. You can look at it as an appetizer, and please if you have anything that you would like to share please leave a comment, and if it is personal and would like to keep it private just ask for my email.

I am still working on this project and the deeper I dive into it, the more not only am I learning but realizing that when it comes to relationships not only do they require a great deal of work and effort. There is no end to what you learn if you put time in effort into any relationship. Unfortunately some relationships do fail. Today this scripture came to my mind; Proverbs 25:24 Better to live on a corner of the roof than to share a house with a quarrelsome wife.

Now as I though about this scripture, I received a new revelation. This man ( and vice versa it could be a woman), did not leave the relationship or even leave the property. He simply left the fight. Being separated by a roof. He did not say I don’t want this anymore. I want a divorce. There are going to be disagreements in any relationship, and yes you are going to fight. One of my favorite movies is War Room. In one scene Elizabeth tells Miss Clara that the one thing her and her husband do well is fight. The conversation goes on, but bottom line she is told they fight but they do not fight well. There is a good fight; 2 Timothy 4:7 I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.  There is fighting with or fighting against. We all get angry for one reason or another. Being angry is not a sin, but how we behave when we are angry can lead us into sin. Ephesians 4:26 “Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger, / Psalm 4:4 Be angry, yet do not sin; on your bed, search your heart and be still. Selah / James 1:20
for man’s anger does not bring about the righteousness that God desires.

You fight because you are hurt, angry or a number of other reasons. Are you fighting for your relationship or out of pain or fear? Do you just give up and end the relationship, or do you fight to keep the relationship? There are relationships that do have to come to an end. I share a bit on my own marriage that did end in divorce. If the relationship is violent and abusive get out! There is no condemnation in being safe. If you are currently being abused, please seek help and get to a safe place. There is help for, and you don’t have to go through this alone.

For the marriages that one or both are not happy and just want to end their marriage, I want to ask you this why did you say “I do?” Now why do you want out?  Jesus was questioned about divorce;  Matthew 19:8 Jesus answered, “It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives; but it was not this way from the beginning.” / Luke 16:18 Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery. Having an unfaithful spouse can and will almost always end a marriage. Yet Israel was often compared to and adulterous wife; Jeremiah 3:8
And I saw, when for all the causes whereby backsliding Israel committed adultery I had put her away, and given her a bill of divorce; yet her treacherous sister Judah feared not, but went and played the harlot also.

So what should we do? Do we stay in an unhappy marriage, with an unfaithful spouse? I will not tell you to leave or to stay. I will ask you to think about what has made you unhappy? Have either of you been neglectful of the other? Have you acted hatefully towards each other? Have you truly tried everything to make your relationship work? I can ask a long list of questions but I will end today with this question; How would you feel if God said to you I am tired of how you treat Me, we are done. I want a divorce?

Read Hosea. I will be writing more soon.


Why should I laugh?

We need laughter


It is easy to be critical and judgmental. I find myself doing both on a regular basis. I can justify my judgments and even back some up with scripture. Yet when I am doing this am I trying to point people to the Word or am I trying to use the Word to justify my actions? Another reason to act n this way is when you have been under attack most of your life or feel under attack the automatic response can be to lay down and play dead and pretend there is nothing wrong or to be defensive and attack what you feel is attacking you.

In my life I have suffered abuse, rape, ridicule and a list of other painful events. I have been diagnosed with PTSD, and fight depression, and even tried to commit suicide. If you were to meet me on a good day, and that…

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An Unvigilant Christian is The



 “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walks about, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:8, 9Holy Bible Amplified Version

Imagine walking down a trail and you find lion tracks. Would you be carefree and continue or would you be very vigilant as you continue down that trail?

We walk down that trail every day.

The trail of life must be walked upon but one must be vigilant to be aware of the dangers upon that trail.

The devil will roar at you with  which must be met with the counter attack of scripture and with confidence in that scripture.

He is always looking for the weak which is why we need communion with Christ every day and why we need to read and digest the powerful words of Scripture to keep us strong to defend ourselves from his wicked attack.

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The Gladius

The Gladius

A New Life


With each step I take there’s a distinct sound. Metal upon metal stomping the ground.

My getup, to some, may look a fright. The reason for it, is what’s creeping after me in the night.

I wear a helmet to protect my mind….reminding me my salvation is one of a kind.

To keep my heart in always doing right, a plate is placed it around nice and tight.

I’m able to stand prepared, flexible, and erect. In my belt, truth is all you’ll detect.

Hard ground and rough terrain has taught me that in peace my feet must remain.

Deflecting darts, I carry my shield…reminding myself my faith is sealed.

Each piece of my armor are only for defense. To protect, guard and behave like a fence…

But my two-edged sword is something to be feared, for with it I can take down any harmful thing that comes near.


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Right Relations / Rough Draft Continues / Adultery

We have looked at adultery through the eyes of one who was cheated on, now let us look at adultery through someone committing the act. The best example found in the Bible is the story of David and Bathsheba. You can read about this in the Bible 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12. David who had fought in many battles before did not go with his army. Then one night while his soldiers were gone to battle David was home and woke up in the night. He went to his roof top and saw a woman bathing. He didn’t just watch her bathe, he inquired about who she was. Finding out that she was the wife of Uriah one of David’s soldiers. He still sent for her and slept with her. Then when she told him she was pregnant, David tried to cover up the affair, by first bringing Uriah back from battle. Yet Uriah did not go home and sleep with his wife. So David sent him to a place he was sure Uriah would die in battle. So not only did David commit adultery and betray one of his soldiers, he had the man killed and took Bathsheba for his own wife.  The story does not end there. The Lord sends Nathan to David to reprove him. Nathan confronts David about what he has done letting David know that God knows his sin and has removed it but one of the consequences of his sin is that the child will die and that the sword will never leave his house.

So David does finally acknowledge his affair but he had to be confronted first. How different the outcome might have been if he had owned up to his sin before trying to cover it up to only make it worse. They say it is better to tell the truth because when you lie you have to keep lying until you forget what you have said and eventually the lie is exposed. When we lie and cheat we hurt others and ourselves. These unseen wounds will not heal overnight. You broke the other’s trust in you and it will never be the same again.

What if it is you that has committed adultery? Are you still having the affair, or have you ended the relationship? Do you feel like there is no hope, and that you cannot be forgiven? Read John chapter 8. You will read about a woman caught in adultery and how Jesus forgives her of her sin and tells her go and sin no more. Acknowledge your sin and repent.  People may never trust you again and this might be the consequence of your sin. There is forgiveness in God’s love. As Jesus said, ‘Go and sin no more’.

Proverbs 1:1-7 / Lesson 1 / Fear?


Proverbs Chapter 1:1-7

Lesson 1


1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, To perceive the words of understanding, 3 To receive the instruction of wisdom, Justice, judgment, and equity; 4 To give prudence to the simple, to the young man knowledge and discretion– 5 A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel, 6To understand a proverb and an enigma, the words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction.

Knowverb aware of through observation, inquiry, or information:”most people know that CFCs can damage the ozone layer” 2.have developed a relationship with (someone) through meeting and spending time with them; be familiar or friendly with:  Synonyms : be…

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