How many of us today remember being taught to call women by respectful names. I have lived in Texas for almost 20 years now. Calling a woman Ma’m has become second nature to me. Yet I have found many women who hate being called Ma’m or Lady. I personally like being called a lady. To me being a lady is not some uppity snobby woman who wouldn’t know where the kitchen or laundry room is. Being a Lady is being intelligent, well mannered, caring, courteous, and flexible. A lady can pick up a hammer and swing at a nail if she needs to, she can hunt and fish if she likes. Although her beauty may seem delicate she has strength that she does not need to flaunt. She does not look down on others but looks for ways to help those who she can. Her compassion and grace do not make her a door mat, they only compliment what makes her beautiful to begin with. They do not have to wear elegant dresses and have the hair and make up perfect. They are beautiful and shine no matter what their attire is. They are the wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, and friends you meet everyday. Some go to work, and others take care of the home. To each other they are equals. They do not need to dominate others or tear another down. They keep away from gossip and do not spread rumors. They do not seek revenge when harmed. They cry when they see others hurting and are not ashamed when they cry because of their own personal pain. She can fit in without changing who she is. She is a Lady.
If you are a woman and someone addresses you by any of these names please do not take offense. You are being shown respect. A little while back a young man I work with called me a b***, I knew that he did not call me this to slander or insult me, it is a term many women call themselves today and even call their friend this. Yet when this young man did this I did not react in anger but firmly told him that he was never to call me by that name again, he of course said he only called me that because that is what he calls all of his friends. I told him that I was not one and would not be called one and that It was being disrespectful to me. We talked about if one wanted to be respected they need to respect others and not even jokingly disrespect another. When we call ourselves demeaning an derogatory names and then get offended when addressed with respect who is the one really in the wrong. There is also those who call themselves names that I will not list here but you know the terms and get outraged if someone else calls them the very same name. It makes no sense what so ever. Names have meanings and words have power, so when we speak negative, insulting, slanderous, and hurtful names even as a joke we are degrading each other and ourselves. You can cry out for equality while disrespecting others or yourself. If you do then you are actually saying that you want to be disrespected. For that is what you are doing to others and to yourself. Be a real woman and be a lady.
One of my favorite scriptures regarding what a woman can desire to be is Proverbs 31. The Proverbial woman. It was not until years of insomnia that this thought hit me. This woman does not sleep. She is up before everyone else, cares for family and servants, works and cares for her home , and is the last in her house to go to sleep. Yet the one things that she is is respected. She was not complaining to her friends how terrible her life is and how unfair she is treated. She gets what needs to be done and demands nothing in return. She does not whine that she barely got any sleep or that no one helps her. She is caring and compassionate. She has an attitude I wish that I could learn to have. She is definitely a lady in my book.
The Woman Who Fears the Lord
She is far more precious than vjewels.
11 The heart of her husband trusts in her,
and he will have no lack of gain.
12 She does him good, and not harm,
all the days of her life.
13 She wseeks wool and flax,
and works with willing hands.
14 She is like the ships of the merchant;
she brings her food from afar.
15 She xrises while it is yet night
and yprovides food for her household
and portions for her maidens.
16 She considers a field and buys it;
with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
and makes her arms strong.
18 She perceives that her merchandise is profitable.
Her lamp does not go out at night.
19 She puts her hands to the distaff,
and her hands hold the spindle.
and reaches out her hands to bthe needy.
21 She is not afraid of snow for her household,
22 She makes dbed coverings for herself;
23 Her husband is known in gthe gates
when he sits among the elders of the land.
24 She makes hlinen garments and sells them;
she delivers sashes to the merchant.
25 iStrength and dignity are her clothing,
and she laughs at the time to come.
26 She opens her mouth with wisdom,
and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.
27 She looks well to the ways of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children rise up and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
but you surpass them all.”
30 lCharm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands,
and let her works praise her in the gates.