Right Relations / Rough Draft Continues / Adultery

We have looked at adultery through the eyes of one who was cheated on, now let us look at adultery through someone committing the act. The best example found in the Bible is the story of David and Bathsheba. You can read about this in the Bible 2 Samuel chapters 11 and 12. David who had fought in many battles before did not go with his army. Then one night while his soldiers were gone to battle David was home and woke up in the night. He went to his roof top and saw a woman bathing. He didn’t just watch her bathe, he inquired about who she was. Finding out that she was the wife of Uriah one of David’s soldiers. He still sent for her and slept with her. Then when she told him she was pregnant, David tried to cover up the affair, by first bringing Uriah back from battle. Yet Uriah did not go home and sleep with his wife. So David sent him to a place he was sure Uriah would die in battle. So not only did David commit adultery and betray one of his soldiers, he had the man killed and took Bathsheba for his own wife.  The story does not end there. The Lord sends Nathan to David to reprove him. Nathan confronts David about what he has done letting David know that God knows his sin and has removed it but one of the consequences of his sin is that the child will die and that the sword will never leave his house.

So David does finally acknowledge his affair but he had to be confronted first. How different the outcome might have been if he had owned up to his sin before trying to cover it up to only make it worse. They say it is better to tell the truth because when you lie you have to keep lying until you forget what you have said and eventually the lie is exposed. When we lie and cheat we hurt others and ourselves. These unseen wounds will not heal overnight. You broke the other’s trust in you and it will never be the same again.

What if it is you that has committed adultery? Are you still having the affair, or have you ended the relationship? Do you feel like there is no hope, and that you cannot be forgiven? Read John chapter 8. You will read about a woman caught in adultery and how Jesus forgives her of her sin and tells her go and sin no more. Acknowledge your sin and repent.  People may never trust you again and this might be the consequence of your sin. There is forgiveness in God’s love. As Jesus said, ‘Go and sin no more’.

Who do you serve? Who do you live for?

Joshua 24:15 New King James Version (NKJV)

15 And if it seems evil to you to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

How many of us profess with our lips ‘Jesus is Lord’, but continue to live willfully against His commands? We say, ‘Sorry God, forgive me.’, but we do not even try to turn away from the sins we are committing. We rebel against His commands and continue to live selfish unrepentant lives.

Matthew 7:21-23

21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

His grace is not a license for us to continue to live in sin.

Romans 6:1-4

What shall we say then? Shall we continue in sin that grace may abound? Certainly not! How shall we who died to sin live any longer in it? Or do you not know that as many of us as were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into His death? Therefore we were buried with Him through baptism into death, that just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, even so we also should walk in newness of life.

When we repent and receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, who we were is not who we are to be. we are new creations in Christ.

2 Corinthians 5:17

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.

None of us are without sin. We repent and turn from the sins we commit and we hold fast to His Word and show Him we love Him by keeping His commands. No excuses can erase any wrong we continue to commit.

Romans 6:15-18

What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? Certainly not! 16 Do you not know that to whom you present yourselves slaves to obey, you are that one’s slaves whom you obey, whether of sin leading to death, or of obedience leading to righteousness? 17 But God be thanked that though you were slaves of sin, yet you obeyed from the heart that form of doctrine to which you were delivered. 18 And having been set free from sin, you became slaves of righteousness.

He will not force you to obey Him. It is your choice. He has given freewill to each of us to choose for ourselves how we live and who we live for.

So I ask, ‘Who do you serve, and who do you live for?

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Right Relations / Rough Draft / Adultery

(This is a rough draft and will be in parts)

How many of you have experienced the sting of betrayal that was caused by someone cheating on you? You were dating or married, and they had an affair. Even if the affair was not sexual it was intimate, taking the affection they once had for you and giving it to another. Jesus told us if we even look at another who is not our wife or husband with lust in our eye we have already committed the sin of ADULTERY. It not only breaks your heart but it can devastate your life. It breaks up families and causes a chain reaction of divisions. Divorce doesn’t just hurt you, but your children, family, church, and friends are hurt too.

You did not accidentally have an affair. You chose to act on a selfish desire and did not care about those who would be hurt by your actions. You may not ever plan on leaving your wife/husband, and believe your affair is secret and that your spouse will never find out. They may even be pretending nothing is happening because the pain is too much for them to bare and they do not want to loose you. Denial and pretending is only deceiving one’s self, and the wound only deepens. I still remember the day when I opened my front door and saw my husband kissing another woman. I didn’t run up to the car and bang on the window. I quietly shut the door and lied to myself and said I did not see that. I was mistaken and that he must have been reaching into the backseat for something. Our marriage was already bad from the abuse but confirmation that he was having an affair was too much for me to handle. This woman had even wanted to throw me a baby shower.  Oh, did I forget to mention I was pregnant? This was a woman who knew of my existence and our marriage did not stop their affair, both were willing parties to their illicit relationship. So not only was I being beaten, I was being cheated on. Now this was not the only time someone had cheated on me, I have had other relationships where not only my heart was broken but so was my trust.

Adultery is found in the Bible a number of times.

Short list

COMMANDMENT: Do not commit adultery.

David and Bathsheba had an affair that lead to the murder of her husband and their baby died.

Hosea, a prophet commanded by God to marry Gomer, who was a prostitute. Time after time Hosea had to go after Gomer who constantly was unfaithful.

Mary the mother of Jesus was thought that she had an affair and Joseph was going to send her off quietly(We all know she did not and Joseph learned the truth as well)

John the Baptist was beheaded because he spoke out against the adultery of the king with his brothers wife and at the request of her daughter at her mothers’ instruction. Mark 6:14-29

Even Abraham had almost caused his wife to commit the sin of adultery out of fear for his own life twice.Thankfully God intervened and spoke to the king and kept this from happening.

I have been discussing adultery between a man and his wife. Both men and women have been guilty since before the time of Moses. There is another kind of adultery most never think about. Spiritual adultery. When we are unfaithful to God. We have not one but two commandments that tell us God is the only One. First commandment no other gods. Second no idols. He needs to be first in all areas of our lives. These man made gods and idols do not love us. They only take from us. We might find momentary pleasure from them but it never truly satisfies. They take away our love and attention to the One who has given us everything to seek after things that do not last. We are called an unfaithful people, and we are. We seek after our own selfish desires and we break His heart. The One who loves us so much that Jesus died for our sins.

You may go to church and know your scripture but if you are still seeking after your own selfish desires you may know His Name but you are not living for Him. You might as well spit in His face. He is not looking for you to be perfect, but He does love you perfectly. Forgiveness and grace do not give us license to continue to live sinful lives.

Please remember this is not a completed work, but I guess you can say there is no relationship that does not need work

Right Relations / Thoughts on friendships

Jesus is referred to as the friend who sticks closer to you than a brother. (Proverbs 18:24) As I have been looking at which relationships to write about, friendships keep jumping to the top of the list. I was planning to write more on the parent child relationship, but this project is not about me me or what I plan to write. It is about drawing closer to God, learning from the relationships we have and those found in scripture. His Word and our testimony.

I have had many friends come and go in my life, and others who are life long friends. The friendship that matters most is the one with Jesus. The friend who laid down His life to save mine.

One friendship found in the Bible is the one between David and Jonathan. 1 Samuel 18:1. Question;

What friendship in the Bible speaks to you?

Do you have a friendship testimony that you would like to share?

I will be taking some time from writing to look deeper into friendships and their influence on our relationship with Christ. I look forward to which friendships have special meaning to you.

God bless.

Have You Really Looked At The Cross?

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I made this cross a while back. The clay did not bake as it had before. Instead it came out black and cracked. I was going to throw it away but I couldn’t. You see various places decorated with beautifully crafted crosses. Some even dedicate a wall in their home to crosses they have collected. Each one beautifully decorated with jewels, or flowers. Some are painted. They are made from various materials. I have made a few myself as gifts. I had looked at this black and cracked cross and thought it would never be a nice gift. It was not beautiful. I could have painted it but it was not smooth and it was cracked. To be honest when I looked at it, I thought it was ugly.

Then I thought about the day Jesus was nailed to a cross. The cross was not beautiful, they had not sanded it smooth. It was rough and stained with His blood. Pierced by spikes driven through His flesh, nailing Him to the instrument of death. When Mary looked up at her son Jesus, she did not see beauty. Her heart was torn, as she watched her son suffer and die. Innocent blood stained that cross. A life freely given to pay the price for the sins of all mankind, no matter when they were born or if they are male or female. He went to the cross without a fight, and then spoke forgiveness.

You know how badly He had been beaten and how distorted his face must have looked like. The pain that He felt. Not the pain of one man did He bear, but the pain of every person who would ever be born on this earth, and all of the sins He took on Himself. He redeemed us, because He loved us.

The beauty is not the cross, no matter how you decorate it. The beauty is the love of Jesus given on the cross. This cross is a reminder of how ugly my sin is, and what my sins cost. So I will be keeping this cross. Not for decoration but as a reminder of how much He loves me.

Right Relations/ Sibling Rivalry/ The Cain and Abel Story

I love the people you find in the Bible. Even the not so good ones, because you can relate to so many of them. I am continuing on my project of ‘Right Relations’ how are earthly relations affect our relationship with Jesus and our Heavenly Father, and how we can learn from our relationships and make them better. Allowing His Holy Spirit to be a part of these relationships.

Back to the beginning / Sibling Rivalry/ The Cain and Abel Story

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   How many of you have brothers or sisters? Next question; How many of you have a relationship that can be compared to Cain and Abel? Do you wonder how others that are close and loving to their siblings do it? I know of many brothers and sister who say their sibling is their best friend. Do you envy these relationships? I know I have wanted since a young child to have a family that is close and loving. I wanted to accepted and loved and I thought why doesn’t my own family love me? It has been a battle just to survive in my family, and I even had to fight my own brother. My stepmother had said that there was a devil and an angel in our house, referring to me and my brother. Our fights got pretty bad. When we were young and he would come at me I was big enough to get him off me and hold him down until he calmed down enough that I was not afraid he would try to hurt me again. Unfortunately more times than not, one of my parents would walk in and see me on top of him, and even I was only trying to restrain him from hurting me, I was the one who got in trouble. No surprise there, no matter who did what, I was always to blame, and took the punishment (another excuse to be abused.) Eventually my brother got bigger than me and protecting myself became more difficult. Our last fight back when I was in my early 20’s, he had me pinned and was trying to choke me and was yelling things in my face that I will not repeat here. I got him to stop by responding to something he called me, by saying, ‘Yeah, just like Mom!’ He got off me and went to another room. The first time my brother had told me he loved me,  he was 21, and had first started drinking and I came home to find him sitting on my bed drunk. He told me he knew he was an _____ and he would always be one to me, but he loved me. I was in shock, but grateful he could say he loved me. No need to repeat the rest of that conversation but over ten years later we would have a similar conversation. My brother did not call me things I was not already being called by other family members. I could not go out to eat with him and my father without feeling degraded in public. I would be so humiliated as they verbally tore me apart in front of others, and was too afraid to speak up for myself. I always found it strange how easy t was for me to stand up for others but that I could not defend myself against my own abusers.

Okay time to get back to my relationship with my brother. Even as young children we had been at odds with each other. I have one memory though where we weren’t fighting. I was only five years old and what was about to me I had no idea. We were living in Pacoima and a relative of my father had taken me into our (my brother and mines) bedroom. I remember looking from my bed and seeing my brother cry as the door was being shut on him by this relative. What happened is another subject. I just remember him crying outside our bedroom as I was being molested. After this we were never close. We have fought and been distant from each other. We have spoken to each other in years now. I still pray for him and his son. Who knows one day this relationship will fall into the reconciled relationship file.

Now look at Cain and Abel. They are the first brothers recorded in Genesis. They were the son’s of Adam and Eve. Abel’s story is short lived because his brother murdered him. Cain’s jealousy turned to anger. It was not Abel’s fault that Cain had not obeyed God in his offering. Abel pleased God, and Cain wanted the labor of his own work to be pleasing. When his offering was rejected, instead of doing what was pleasing and acceptable by God, he took his brother’s life. God still loved Cain and showed it in that when He came to Cain after he had murdered his brother, God did not take Cain’s life. Instead He marked Cain so that no other could take his life. Cain had taken a life so God would have been justified but once again God shows mercy. That is our Heavenly Fathers love. What is sad in this story is two brothers seeking approval of Father, could have been so different if Cain had looked at what his brother offered as a lesson in learning to do what is right, instead of demanding with his actions for things to be done his way. Then he got angry when he didn’t get things his way. Now the sadder part of this story is they not got a chance to reconcile and their parents lost both of their sons.

Is there any of you who can relate to their story? I am not saying your brother or sister has tried to take your life, but that there is such strife in your relationship, that you have no relationship with them other than by name? Or do you have one that you are a part of each other’s life, but every time you are in the same room the battle breaks out and damage continues to be done? Do you pray for them and want to have a peaceful and loving relationship with the, or do you want nothing to do with them, as if they do not exist? What if God had the same attitude a lot of us have? What would our lives be like? Can you imagine God saying, ‘I am done with them. I am tired of how they treat me.’
I am not saying allow a person to do harm to you just because they are your relative. Sometimes we have to be separated from our family. Not just live peacefully but to live safely, because if we stay the damage that is done can cost not just your physical life but your can cause a spiritual death. You get so wrapped in the fighting, the hater and bitterness there is no room for love and forgiveness and with each fight your spirit slowly dies. We must guard our hearts. We can love and forgive and walk away from a relationship that is toxic to you. God can still reach their heart while He heals you of the would the relationship caused you.. Pray for yourself and pray for them. Focus on what you can do that is pleasing to God and let God be the one to deal with the other person. Love and forgive them through prayer. Then if the opportunity comes where you can show them the love God has given you and that He has for them, you might find a “Right Relation’ with them.

Now who are some other siblings we can find in the Bible who we can relate to in our own sibling relationships? I have a few in mind but would love to hear from you. I am still looking for testimonies relating to both right and wrong relationships and what God has done for you in these relationships. Please leave me a comment if you are willing to share your testimony and I will give you my email to contact me privately. There is no judgement or condemnation in Christ, only healing and His love. You do not know you may help by sharing your story. I also will not reveal your name if you would like to keep it  private but still have a story to share. Thank you and God Bless you.

 

Right Relations / The Beginning

It has been a short while since I have been working on this project of ‘Right Relations’, how our relationships here on earth have affected our relationship with our Heavenly Father. I am back at it now and here is my next installment. I am still looking for testimonies to include in this book on relationships both good and bad that can help others draw closer to Jesus, so if you have one you would like to share please contact me, I would love to hear how God has worked in your life.

Here is my latest work on this project, I have gone back to the beginning.

The First Relationship

After God had created the heavens and the earth, and filled the earth with the various living creatures, He formed man out of the dirt and breathed life into him. God saw that it was not good for man to be alone so he took a rib out of the man and created woman. Eve was not Adam’s first relationship. His first relationship was with his Creator, his Heavenly Father. Yet he did not listen to his Father as he should have, and Eve did not listen to her husband. She listened to the serpent and did the ONE thing they were told not to do and ate the fruit of the tree that God had commanded them not to eat of. One action as simple as it may seem damaged a perfect relationship. They lived in Paradise! They had all they would have ever needed, and they threw it away by disobeying the One who had created them and loved them.

Doing what they thought would not harmed them got them kicked out of Paradise and all of its comforts and provisions. Their lives would be filled with hardship and pain. This did not stop God from loving them though. He made a promise which He kept. Through the woman a Savior would be born and He would redeem that which was lost. Read Genesis to get the whole story.

Their story is one of the first broken relationships you will find in the history of all relationships. You might wonder why it is when they had everything and were loved so dearly how they could go against the One who created and loved them, giving them the best life He could. That is a question I cannot answer. How many of us have had everything we could ever want or need and thrown it away for a temporary pleasure though? This doesn’t mean that our lives were perfect or without pain. For many of us the beginnings of our lives on this earth have been filled with various forms of abuse, pain and suffering. We find it hard to trust an unseen God. The idea of a Heavenly Father and His Son is like a myth, or a fairy tale. We are like Thomas, filled with doubt and refusing to believe until we can see and touch, so that we have proof.

We stay distant from Him even after we receive Jesus as our Savior and Lord. He is now a part of our lives, but a part we only find in a book. We don’t truly have a solid relationship with Him. Even after we have received forgiveness for our sins we are in a distant relationship with our Heavenly Father, His Son, and His Holy Spirit. The source of life is there but we are not truly connected. It is like that distant relative that you have never met. You know they exist but you have never laid your eyes on them or even spoken to them. So how do we change this? How do we have a real relationship with the One who has given us everything? You have repented and received Jesus as Lord and Savior. You believe God sent Him to pay the price of your sins redeeming you and giving you eternal life, yet They still seem so far away.

We are on this journey together. As I am writing these words I am learning myself what it means to have a better relationship with Jesus, His Spirit and our Heavenly Father, Abba. We are sinners saved by His grace and love. Yet we hurt and so we hurt those around us. A lot of the time we hurt others not realizing what we have done. As the saying goes, ‘Hurt people, hurt people.’

Too many of us have gone through this life hurting for one reason or another. We lack hope and trust. We feel like we are the only ones we can depend on and we don’t even feel capable of being able to do that most of the time. This is not the life God wants for us. He wants a close and intimate relationship with each of us. He loves us and wants so much better for us. We are at a place in our lives where we need to learn how true His love is. We need to learn to trust Him more and know His love never fails.

So let us examine our own relationships and those we find in His Word. Really take a good look at the lives and relationships of those in the Bible and learn what it means t have a right relationship with Him and each other.