Do you feel ignored?

There are people in you life that you may call, text or even private message and you get no response. You reach out but you get rejected or ignored, until the day they need something from you. I believe that many of us have dealt with this in one way or another.

Now think about God must feel. How many times has He spoken to you or me and we have not listened? We place Him on hold because we are too busy doing our own thing. Then disaster strikes and we call out to Him expecting an immediate answer. Sounds a little hypocritical. What is sad is I know that there have been too many times I have not listened to His call on my life. Yes I go to church, I pray and I read my Bible, but have I truly listened to Him? I can say that over the last few years I have gotten better at listening to Him but my conversations are still too one-sided. I talk to Him but I do not always listen. Okay they do not sound like conversations, but can be compared to a monologue instead. I perform my script and He is my audience. Not a very productive relationship. So here I share one of my flaws with the world hoping in doing so that I can help one other person with my struggle. The next time you reach out to someone and they do not respond, think about how many times God reaches out us and we ignore Him.  So if you call a friend and you get their voice mail, leave your message then hang up and get into a conversation with God. He is more than a good listener. He has many good things to say.

Father, forgive me for all the times that you have spoken to me and I have ignored you. I am sorry for not listening to You and placing you on hold to talk to the world. You are my God, and I desire to make you number one in my life. When I have something I just need to talk to someone about remind me to come to you first. Thank you for always being there for me, no matter what time of day or night it is. Open my ears to hear you more clearly and open my heart to desire to listen to you at all times. Nothing should ever be more important than you. Thank you for being patient with me. I love you. Amen.

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Are you listening?

A thought came to me, and it is about listening. I volunteered at the local library today and was working in the audio book section. I remembered that someone had once told me that they did not like listening to audio books. At the time it was just a simple comment. I love books, whether I am holding one in my hands or listening to one on CD, I enjoy what is being said. I am listening. Even when I am reading a book, I am listening to what the author is saying. I do not try to interrupt the author, and I do not just hear what they are saying, I am listening.

If I am in a church service or at home reading my Bible, I am listening. God speaks to me through His Word. I do not want to just hear the Word. I want to listen, so that I can do what His Word instructs me to do. The better I listen, the better my relationship is with Jesus. Jesus is the Word made flesh. When He speaks I want to cling on to every word that comes out of His mouth. I want to be like Martha’s sister Mary, sitting at His feet and taking in every word, as if they were delicious treats that satisfy my hunger.

I look around and see that people are not listening. Yes they hear you, but it is more like a noise in the background. They may smile or nod their head, but they are not listening. Unfortunately these people are like the ones who hear God’s Word but it does not make a difference in their lives because they are not listening.

Do you know what is like to be in the middle of saying something, and someone interrupts you before you are finished speaking. Then what ever you were saying gets brushed off to the side, and they have taken the conversation on to a totally different topic. They heard you speaking but they were not listening to you. They have acted like what they had to say was more important. What this has led me to see here is, that the one who interrupts a conversation is being controlling. Maybe it is because they feel what they had to say was more important, or it could be you were making them uncomfortable. I cannot really say what is going on in the mind of another, just what it appears to look like to me. When a person interrupts you when you are speaking and does it in a way that changes the topic of conversation, is like getting to the last chapter of a book and someone taking it away from you and you never know how the story ends.

When this is done, you may turn to your emotions and feel unimportant or rejected. Now I would like it if you would think about this. How do you think God feels when we interrupt Him, instead of listening to Him? It is not only with our words hat we do this, but it is how we live in disregard to His Word. Are you trying to control everything around you thinking that God does not care? Maybe you think you know whats best for you, or you want things a certain way and you ignore any advice given, no matter who it comes from. To me it is like I am telling God, I hear what you are saying, but I have a better way.  Another way to look at this is like a teenager who tells their parents to get off their back, and storms off to their room and slams the door.

I want to be like the children in the Bible who were able to crawl up into the lap of Jesus, and listen to Him speak to me. I want Him to tell me everything He wants to say and listen to Him like a child being read a bedtime story. Finding comfort and peace as His words wrap around me like a soft warm blanket. Making me feel safe and secure. Being like the child who begs their parent for one more story. This is how I want to be.

Pain Hurts!

Pain hurts! Pretty simple, you would think. But what caused the pain may not be so simple to describe. Were you hurt by something big that happened all at once, or was it little things that happened over a period of time? Does any of that matter? I do not think so because pain still hurts. Whatever that has happened, or has been done to you, the pain you feel is what has your attention. You feel it. Physically or emotionally the pain is real. It may stop you in your track, or drop you down to your knees, and it may give you reason to lay down and not get up because the pain is more than you can bear. Pain lets you know that something is wrong. It is that big red flashing light telling you stop what you are doing or you will get seriously hurt. It is the warning that says this wrong and it needs to stop.

Pain can cause a tear to roll down your cheek, or you to scream in agony till you have no voice left. It can make you close yourself up into your room cutting everyone out. Pain can cause you to lash out and hit something, like putting your fist through a wall. You may pick a fight for no real reason because of the pain you feel has made you so angry you want someone else to feel pain as well. I could probably write a novel and fill the pages with what pain can cause us to do. If you have ever felt pain you already know what I would write, and let’s be honest you are alive and reading this you have felt pain, and you may even be feeling pain right now as you are reading these words.

Well my words will not take away your pain, but you already knew that. To heal from the pain you feel or have felt means you are going to go through more pain. Facing what has hurt you is not pleasant, it can get down right ugly. To truly begin to be healed from what has caused our pain we have to endure facing the pain. We need to not just focus on what was done but what we did as a reaction. We may feel guilt for things we did after we were hurt. So we are ashamed to face our pain. We should not stand in our own way though. What has been done is done, let us face it so we can move on. No more looking over your shoulder carrying burdens we no longer need to, but living free from guilt shame and pain. The One who taught me this is Jesus. He is my Savior, Redeemer, and Healer. He is the Lord of my life, my heart my everything. Jesus knows pain and He knows suffering. This does not stop Him from loving though. In spite of pain rejection humiliation being beaten and spit upon He loves us, He forgives us and He heals us. It is written  ‘By His stripes we are healed’. All we have to do is receive Him, acknowledge our sins and repent and the love He has for us we can then receive. Then you can find relief form the pain you have lived with for too long.

Take off you mask.

  Years of working in bars and restaurants taught me to put on a mask. The reason was because that customers do not want to be waited on by a sad, depressed, angry or bitter, waitress. So no matter how I was feeling, I had to cover it up with a happy mask. Concealing how I felt because I was there to do a job, and you will not get tips when you appear miserable. Even when I had to serve customers who were rude abusive, or vulgar, I had to laugh and put a smile on my face, and be pleasant to them.

Now the same can be said about people in church. I had heard the term ‘Church face’ and I thought it was an appropriate description. We cover up what is really going on inside because we are afraid of being judged or rejected. We also do not our faith to be questioned. (This does not mean when you are struggling with emotional or other issues you have lost faith, it just means you are human and we have our weaknesses that we individually have to deal with.) Yet one reason for fellowship is so that we can help each other. It is like the wedding vow, in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and for better or worse. The church is the bride of Christ. We are His body, arms, legs, hands, feet, eyes and ears, the list goes on. When we put on our masks to conceal our true feelings, our frustrations, our disappointments, etc… We are closing the door on receiving the loving help we so desperately need. God said it was not good for man to be alone. This was not just for a man and woman to be married. We need each other. Scripture tells us if two are walking and one falls into a ditch the other is there to help them out.

We need to take off our masks. I know that it is scary to expose ourselves and be vulnerable, but it is in our weakness that God is the strongest. One of God’s blessings in my life are the people He gave to me to be my true friends. These are people who I can be real with. They have seen me when I have been at my worse. When I have been so angry that I was intolerable to be around. When I was too depressed that I did not want to go on. They have listened to my screams,and let me cry till there were no more tears to fall. When I have felt that all hope is lost, they have sat quietly, showing great compassion. They do not try to fix me, or tell me what I am doing wrong. They show me they love me by just accepting me as I am. Many times they just sit quietly and listen. Their presence alone giving comfort. When they speak, they use words of encouragement. They never doubt my faith, but remind me that they know how strong my faith is, and that Jesus loves me at all times, just as they do.

I thank God for these friends, who have let me remove my mask without any fear. I can be myself with them, no masks, no pretending. God uses these people to hug me, and hold me, and to speak words to encourage and heal me when I am hurting more than I feel that I could bear. If you take off your mask you will find there are people already in your life who God has blessed you with. who will do the same for you as my friends have done for me. You won’t know these people till you take off your mask though. So take off your mask and see truth. See God’s amazing love for you.

In my weakness

I am told that I am strong

That my faith is inspiring

but in this I do not agree

I would like to say that my faith does not waiver

and that i trust in God at all times

If I did this

I would be lying

Yes Jesus is my Savior

Yes He is my Lord

but I am weak

I have fears and doubts

I feel overwhelmed

and I have no strength to go any further

I want to give up

I cannot hold on

God in His mercy

picks me up

and he carries me

He gives me grace

He gives me love

He is my hope when I have none

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring

but I do know

that even when I want to give up

He will never give up on me

In my weakness

He is my strength

In the darkness

He is my Light

In my despair 

He is my joy

He is my everything

Zechariah 14:20-21

Zechariah 14:20-21 (NKJV)

20 In that day “HOLINESS TO THE LORD” shall be engraved on the bells of the horses. The pots in the Lord’s house shall be like the bowls before the altar.21 Yes, every pot in Jerusalem and Judah shall be holiness to the Lord of hosts.[a] Everyone who sacrifices shall come and take them and cook in them. In that day there shall no longer be a Canaanite in the house of the Lord of hosts.

When we accept Jesus as our Lord and Savior, and submit to the will of God our Heavenly Father we become His Vessels(pots). we are to be used to serve and do His will. Who and what we were before no longer exists. we are made into a new creation, molded by His Hands into new vessels of His righteousness. We now belong to Him and He has adopted us into His family and we are now a part of His household.

Looking for a Literary Agent

emotionalpeace

I have a wonderful story that I just feel a great need to share. The only writings I have had published has been some of my poetry. I have searched and read the books on how to get published, but most publishing companies require an agent to submit your manuscript. All these publishing how to books do not get into how to get a literary agent. I found sites that if you pay for a service they will help you find an agent but I am not sure if these sites actually work. So I am feeling very frustrated. If you are a published author I would greatly appreciate any advise you can give. I truly desire to get my story out there. It is a children’s story but I believe adults will enjoy it as well. I look forward to learning from you what you can share in getting…

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